| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I like her, I enjoy her company, sex is great, I care for her. Then why in the world haven't I made her my girlfriend? I have never had a serious girlfriend and I'm a womanizer. How do i know if I like her enough? Is it just attraction? Being used to each other? I'm confused on if I like her enough. Why aren't I moving toward a next step?
View related questions:
womaniser Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mypro +, writes (30 December 2005):
Could it be that you have been hurt or that you've hurt someone in the past? Or maybe you're not ready to give up the freedom? Sometimes you have to take a chance, relax and step in slowly, one day at a time. The thing that's missing in todays relationship is that it's never said that it is a one-on-one, it's assumed that everyone knows. If the good out weighs the bad then why not try it!
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 December 2005):
I think sometimes some people 'search around' for the perfect person and knock down so many really great people as they see one flaw in the person and think 'nope not right'. I'm not saying you should settle for someone who treats you like utter crap and stuff, but there will be things in a person you may not like, but thats ok and that can be accetped/dealt with.
It sounds like ot me that you are really worried that if you make her your gf, that either:
a) you will get hurt. You will let her into your heart, you will open yourself up and become vunerable, but then she might dump you and hurt you.
b) Your afraid that ocne you make her your gf, thats it, no more other girls to have sex with and go out with.
If it is A, well then, sometimes in life we need to take chances, in order to gain. If your afraid of commiting and being hurt, then listen to this, if you don't let yourself open up to be loved and become vunerable with that risk of being hurt, you will never be open for love, you will never get it. Its a risk you can take. But if you do get hurt, you can get through it! Its not the end of the world, as hard as that can seem when you go through it.
If its B, well its true, when you are in a commited relationshiip you shoudln't be going out with other women. If that scares you so much, then I guess all I can say is that your needs and wants musnt go further beyond the physical side of a relationship. It also seems like maybe you dont want to make it offical that shes your gf because you think if you dont and if you stuff up or if she does, its like 'its ok we arent bf and gf anyways'. type of thing...
Yet it seems to me yours do, so maybe thats not the case. You said you care for her, that is a strong sign that you might actually be ready to go into a relationship with her.
Proper relationships, that go deeper then what you have right now, take effort, yet the effort is completely worth it. Not only do you have a romantic partner, you have a great friend.
I say swallow those fears and take the chance. I mean if all fails and its not right, you can always get out of it! You won't be stuck with her! Remmeber that, so you will be ok.
good luck
...............................
|
