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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi People,I hope you can help me my problem is as follows,; I have just had a boxing day party and this girl was there, she was 16 and i am 13 almost 14, we got chattin and found a few things in common, after a few hours we ended up just lying on my bed talking then suddenly she just put her hand on my leg just above my knee i put my hand on top of her hand, we started to touch each other in different parts of both our bodies, (it was mainly me touching her), before it led to sex we stopped and we both realised the age issue, she asked me if i thought it was wrong I TOLD HER I FULLY SUPPORTED WHATEVER DECISION SHE MADE, in the end we decided not to go any further, we kissed and both rejoined the party, for the rest of the night we just carried on as normal, talking and the occasional tap on the ass, then once the party had ended she went home and said goodbye and exchanged phone numbers, now i cant stop thinking about her, my friends know her and think she is ugly, but i think she is absolutly beautiful, although i know my friends have told me that she slept with 10 men already which i think is true? i just dont know what to do , i am only just startng to get my life back on track after 5 years of bullying and its going really well i just cant believe she took any notice of me a spotty fat litte kid! i think i love her but dont know what to do, i am certainly not bothered about sex, i am a virgin and that was my very first kiss tonight, what do you think?? also i am meeting her again on new years eve at a pub any ideas??thanks for any help! John Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (4 January 2006):
 you ask for views on an age gap of 2 years well , there is nothing wrong with that as long as one of the people involved is not a child which you are , i am 8 years older than my guy but he is 19 and we are both consenting adults it is indecent assault that this girl could be charged with if you are to be involved in sex , oral sex or masterbation with her . so bear that in mind when you say that you wont have "full sex " with this girl
A
male
reader, briz boy 19 +, writes (29 December 2005):
i dont think you should ever speak to her again your to young to be having sex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2005): any hole is a goal. so shoot and score mate. bollocks to that ur 14 do what other kids do. like REALLY play football. leave the sex till its legal. otherwise this young lady friend of yours could end up being charged for statutory rape. and its a very bad idea to advetise on the internet re: sexual relations with a minor cuz that is what u are. a minor. trust me and wait. u will thank me some day.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2005): hi, thanks for the answers and help, i have took them on board and i think it will just be a bit of fun at partys etc as i said before sex isnt an issue but about her sleeping with so many guys yes it does sort of annoy me but i have known her mum for a few years and this girl has bounced back from so many problems, drug etc, i think she has grown up alot since the guys i mentioned, i think ill let it take its own course whereever that may lead, about maturity,im not to bothered concerning that as i am very sexual mature for my age as my dad was the same, also i do understand that girls mature 1 year before boys generally , we were actually talkin about that when we were chatting she was telling me about her problems during puberty ie: hadnt started periods untill 15 etc, i agree i think i make sure that people know i should have said like instead of love, i dont think kids can fall in love can they, anyway thanks once again maybe it was me not being able to keep my hormones under control lol. i do hope to meet her and have a bit of fun again but i have ruled any full sex out im too young! what are your views on th age difference of 2 years though we live in uk? hope you all had a very merry christmas and have a happy new year,
god bless!
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (27 December 2005):
 John,
Please don't get caught up in the fantasy of love just yet.
You just met this girl, how can you love someone you just met. Yes there is the saying Love at first sight, but vision can be clouded with lust and the need to feel wanted.
She gave you the attention you wanted, but was it the attention you needed.
You 13, you shouldn't even be thinking of sex. You mentioned she has been with 10 guys, has it occured to you that she is 16 and sleeping around. I'm 21 and i haven't even slept with that many guys.
The fact that she has been with so many guys must tell you that she definately isn't looking for commitment.
Don't set your self up for heart ache when it is unnecessary, cause it's hard to fall out of love with somone than fall in love with them. And getting into a sexuall relationship with someone is a big step, especially since it would be your first time. Don't you want your first time to be special, something to remember?
Don't let your hormones control your logic, cause if you were 100% sure that you wanted this you wouldn't have asked for help.
Best of Luck
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A
female
reader, princeess1111 +, writes (27 December 2005):
Boy you are 13 and she is 16. I am almost 16.The only readon girls my age have interest in younger guys is fir sex.She dosen't love you she is using you.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 December 2005):
Hi there John,
Seems like there are a few issues going on that need to be adresed here.
Firstly, you said that you 'love her', now I don't mean to be rude, but how can you love her? You barely know her. And she barely knows you. You both had a one night thing, which sure might continue yet after one night, you can't exatly say that you love her for who she is can you. Are you sure that you arent geting mixed up with the feelings of feeling wanted and needed and loved by someone with love for them? You said for years you have been bullied and that must of been very traumatic to you and it seems like you don't have much self confidece. Yet the other night when you met this girl, she gave you attention, and not just attention she wanted you, so that made you feel loved.
Sometimes people get confused and think they love someone, yet really they are just falling for the person due to the fact that they have feelings for them and they don't realise they can do better as such, like bieng with osmoene they reallyt care for. So basicly what I'm saying here, is if things don't work out with you and this girl then its ok, you will have plenty of other girls likeing you, I'm sure shes not the only one. You are 13, you have plenty more years and expeirences to come.
As for the age issue, well here are some possible issues that you sould think about how you will deal with them if you go ahead with any form of a relationship:
-Sex: are you both ready for it? Also depending on where you live, it might be illegal for either or both of you.
-Wanting a relationship: It is possible as that she is older that she might want a more serius and commited relationmship, so you both need ot find out what you both want. Do you both just want somethign casual, liek a fling? Or are you both interested in perhaps persuing it further?
-Level of emotional maturity: girls mature emotinally much more earlier then boys, so tpyically speaking, her maturity level at 16 is much more developed then yours. Depending on her, depennds whether she is ok wit hthat or not.
Those are just some of the ones I could come off the top of my head. I think that it is possible ot overcome age differences, if you are realy commited to making it work.
Does the fact that she has slept with 10 other guys anoy you at all? If so then maybe you shouldn't meet her again, it will only make you feel more like crap, like your 'just another guy'. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and loves you for you and doesnt just get with as many guys as she can.
I hope I have helped. good luck.
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