| A ,
anonymous
writes: We are in love but although we have managed the 3hr journey back and forth for the last 7 mths. It is becoming more and more difficult, tiring and expensive. I have my own home and a good job, he rents but lives around the corner from his kids (10 & 14) who he sees every wkend and they often pop in to see him during the wk.The problem is that the distance isn't sustainable long term and he brought up the subject of moving in together. This is something that we are both keen to do but since I have only just bought my house it is difficult for me to sell and renting wouldn’t cover the mortgage. So the only alternative is for him to move up. He could still see his kids at weekends. Problem is he’s terrified of leaving the area he has spent whole life. I’m thinking that much though I love him maybe I should be strong and finish this relationship that way he doesn’t feel he needs to pressurise himself into moving and he gets to live like he did before. Need advice.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (14 April 2005):
 Move or finish a relationship that you might regret. If on the whole your relationship is pretty good and solid, then I would suggest giving it a go with moving in together. I know you say he is nervy about doing this, but it may be the only solution for a while. Maybe do it as a trail and see where it takes you... you have nothing to lose... he rents, you own your own house. He will be saving money in any case. Maybe live together at your house for a while maybe for up to a year or so, see how things pan out and then maybe if you wanted to move to his old area, you could think about selling then. If not you might both be just as happy living where you are now. The thing is your not going to ever know unless you do it. My partner and I live together, but in the begining there was also a journey involved, not as long as yours mind you, but we decided it would be easier for us to both be in the same place! He decided to move in with me, and things were so much easier!We get on great and things are good, we spend alot more time together, there is less stress in the relationship so its worked out. However, we have now decided that we are going to be moving back up to his old area, he has a child up there and Im free and easy to move. We have been living together for about 18 months now, and I guess at times he probably misses his neck of the woods, but he does go up a couple of times a week, but in the main its not so bad. If you can drive its not so bad going at weekends etc. So from experience I would say go for it, if you dont, you may regret not having tried it. Which ever you decide to do I hope it all pans out for you. If you love him that much, dont let him slip away, work round it hun.Take care X x
|
