A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and I realy have problems with our sex life. I have a high sex drive and I like to try different things. When I met him about a year ago he was interested to have sex all the time and now it has been months that I have to go to him all the time and kind of beg and complain for him to have sex with me.It is never a good time for him..he is tired, he has to play his sports, he has friends coming over...so once in awhile when he has no more excuse to give me we will have sex but I do not enjoy it at all since I feel that he is just doing it to make me happy and he does find me hot and does not enjoy it. I feel so unwanted as I am sick of initiate it all the time. The other problem I have is he never kiss my lips.He used to but I have not had a passionate kiss for months. He also never ever touches my breast. I am 31 but have the most amazing breasts ever. Everybody talks about them all the time and this hearts that my boyfriend does not even look at them or touching them or paying any attention to them. Every time we are watching a movie that there is a half naked woman in , he always screams "boobies, yeah" so I am not sure why my perfect ones do not do it for him.I am not sure what to do.I am scared if I stay unhappy and eventhough I have never cheated in any relationships before, I am scared that I go and get what I need elsewhere since I get a lot of attentions from others but him!! I know he watches porn when I am not around and I am ok with that. I love him a lot and want to have a future with him and this is the only thing that really bothers me in our relationship and I have a problem with. He is not a guy that I can talk to easily as he gets so mad if I mention anything about me not being sexualy satisfied and I do not want to force him to be attracted to me because then it will be fake and that is going to stay in my mind and I am not going to enjoy it when we do it. What should I do? should I just accept the fact that I get so much attention from other men but I have to beg my boyfriend for sex or should I force him to go with me to get some professional help??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Professional help is definitely needed. Sex is not suppose to be a chore, or an obligation, or something begged for, or bribed to get. It's an expression of love. Two people who let themselves go and together wrap their love into one being with the sole purpose of pleasing the other person, and expressing appreciation for them.
It's not healthy if you have to beg for it. I'd seek counseling and see what's going on, or preventing him from doing what most men can't wait to do.
Take care.
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