A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and i went on a break after five years and a year of that having been engaged. After 5 months, he met someone and was ready to move on. I was absolutely devastated, went through a debilitating depression and all the stuff that supposedly comes with a break up. I'm 26 and he was my first bf ever so this is all new to me. I loved him to death but was terrified of getting married (i felt like i wasn't ready, i didn't know anything else) and that's why we took the space. Point is, i want him back so bad. He says that he hasn't ruled anything out and he gets feelings for me when he sees me, even kissed me after being with that girl for 3 months. I felt like i was led on when he did that. I wonder sometimes if the only reason i want him back is because i was "comfortable" with him and it's hard for me to believe i can love someone the way i did him. Since he is undecided and i feel like i'm letting myself be available, the best thing for the both of us is to cut off all communication right??? This will help him decide what he wants and whether or not i want to be with him right?? He says that no matter what happens, he wants to remain friends but i can't do that because it hurts and i feel like it keeps me within his reach. I just need some honest advice because i just want this to be over with and i want to make sure that not talking or seeing each other again is for the best........heartbroken
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (17 November 2008):
 Why'd you two decide to split up? Was it his decision, yours, or a mutual decision?
Regardless, it sounds like he's being unfair to you by keeping your emotions on a string while he spends time with someone else.
You're correct in your thinking. You should split with him completely. You'll be better off the sooner you are out of contact with him. As long as you continue to hear from him and/or see him, the wounds of your separation will remain fresh. Even if your issues are resolvable, you're only hurting yourself by continuing to stay in contact with him right now.
Go out, spend time with your friends, have fun, meet some new people. Let HIM be the one to try and reconcile things between you two... and when that time comes, think carefully about what you decide to do.
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