A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with this guy for about a year and a half. We hang out one or maybe two times a month, but exchange email messages daily or every other day. I guess I knew from the beginning that he was attracted to me, but throughout the course of our friendship we have both dated numerous other people.A few weeks ago while we were hanging out he tried to get a little physical with me and I didn't really know what to do because I didn't know how I felt. He apologized afterwards and we kind of went back to things as before. I hung out with him for the first time again recently and it happened again, though this time I have to admit I hoped it would happen and I set the stage to allow it to happen and reciprocated.I'm feeling confused about what to do. We have great conversations, he's very supportive and I feel very comfortable with him. When these physical things have happened it feels comfortable and "right." However, I'm not certain for reasons I can't entirely seem to pinpoint that this could work out long term. He is six years older than me, although it doesn't really feel like there is a big age difference there. I guess my "biggest" concern is that sometimes I wish he would be a little more outgoing or socially apt because as a somewhat shy person I really like a partner to be able to help handle things like that when we are out together. He has made it clear that he's interested in pursuing this potentially long term if I'm open to that. He's also made it clear that he wants to remain friends if I am not comfortable with something more. What should I do? Do I try to date him somewhat casually? I'm not even sure that's possible given that we're already kinda close friends. I'm afraid about what this will do to our friendship. I'm afraid of possibly hurting him. I'm afraid of making a wrong decision and ending up together when it's not the right match. Where should I go from here?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2009):
If you think this won't work, then the truth is you're probably right. If he was the guy for you, you'd be jumping at the chance. As it is, you're not. So explain to him that you like him as a friend and nothing more. I think you're right not to go out with him. Don't be with someone unless you really do feel comfortabale.
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