A
male
age
30-35,
*verage-Drake
writes:hello to anyone reading this and anyone willing to post some helplately my girlfriend and i have wanted to have sex also she's a virgin. but theres always been a problem. either she's on her period, i dont have a condom or she's just not mentally prepared. This past friday she was said she was ready and we went through all the motions * butt naked, foreplay, even ate her out* but when i came down to it i froze up. it wasnt like im not attracted to her physically but i felt like i was doing everything just to get her ready and there was litte stimulation from her. so we wound up not having sex and she asked me what was wrong. i told her that i cant do everything and i needed some effort from her. she got mad and said as a man i should basically wait on her hand and foot but thats off topic. so the Question is: should i have to do everything?
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condom, foreplay, period Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): The Realist hit the nail on the head, she is missing the point of sex. Sex is a mutual act and is pointless if one of you is not into it. Just give her a taste of her own medicine.
A
female
reader, GettingInYourBizness +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Are you a virgin too? I could be wrong (as I'm not a guy), but in my mind I think the first time someone has sex male or female, I think the female will be more anxious/nervous. Even though virgins are not clueless as they once were (with porn/media/etc) I still think the act of doing it versus just watching is whole other step. Everyone says she's being selfish, rethink her relationship, etc - I think some of the other Aunts/Uncles are judging her really harshly. It's her FIRST freaking time! As a chick, referring to first time, I think I'd prefer the guy to lead, eventually this changes with experience.I think you're blaming her for some kind of your own issue, re-read: "This past friday she was said she was ready and we went through all the motions but when i came down to it i froze up."I think these are signs that YOU are just not ready for sex. "i felt like i was doing everything just to get her ready and there was litte stimulation from her."Were you having issues of getting up, were you not hard? or did you mean she wasn't getting wet enough? or did you mean she wasn't physically stimulating you (stroking/oral/etc)? Clarify. Overall, seems like it was going smoothly till you had your tantrum.I think your sudden feeling to just STOP was some kind of gut instinct as I can't see someone going that far than all of a sudden just not wanting to pursue it for that kind of reason. I think it was some kind of excuse for yourself to not go all the way (which is not a bad thing).If I was your GF, I'd break it off with you, you seem very insensitive and only after sex. If you want someone more experienced in bed, don't date a virgin!I'd say break it off her with her so she can at least get with someone that will make her first time special.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 i think the realist is spot on. she sounds very selfish and i think she needs to rethink her relationship status if she thinks like that you need someone who is on the same level knows about sharing and giving not just take take take. also your very young so its possible you have more room to learn before you make a big choice people think sex is easy but the consiquences of bad choices can have negative effects so be sure when you do go through with sex that you are prepared for any out come and not just the fun part good luck aphex
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Sex is a two person act, it requires input from both people. At no point should it focus on just one person. I think she want to be as lazy as possible and get the pleasure out of it without having to do any work. It sounds very selfish of her and I'm wondering if you have noticed selfish behavior in the rest of the relationship. If she isn't willing to work you can't be expected to get her going as well as yourself. It sounds like she doesn't understand what sex is supposed to be and if thats what her life is like I don't think she is ready for a relationship either.
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