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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok, I know I may sound superficial,but in my culture, IMAGE is all that matters for a woman; the way she dresses, she talks, her actions and who she goes out with.I would like you to bare this in mind. My reputation is very important for so that in a near future a man would want to marry me. It is sadly, the way it works and I cant work against it.Now, I have been dating this colleague from work for six months now. I am moving to another city, and it will be hard to maintain a LDR. But we had agreed on doing so, at least trying. Following that he then suggested we should travel together during the upcoming summer.Thing is, if i do travel with him, and things don't work out my rep can be tainted and it will take me a while to be able to get involved with someone else. I am unsure on his behalf if he really wants to pursuit on the LDR, yet I don't want to talk to him because the idea of traveling together is very soothing.What should I do? any suggestions??Thank you to all. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 April 2009):
 I think talking to him is the only way to solve this problem - you need to know if he is 100% committed to making the LDR work! LDR's are very hard and unless both parties are completely committed one person will end up wasting their time.
It sounds like you are committed to making it work therefore you need to know if he feels the same way; there is no point in guessing how he feels and going travelling with him and hoping for the best, especially if this can have a major impact on your future.
Think about this though - why is going travelling with him a good idea for you? Why is the thought of it soothing? Is the main reason you want to go travelling is because you want to see the world or is it just a way to spend time closer to him?
If it is the latter then it seems like you just want to spend time with this man therefore you are not cut out for a LDR with him. If you want to see the world and would just enjoy his company; then maybe you shouldnt go. You can travel alone or with a friend where it wouldnt compromise your reputation.
I guess you have to decide if this man is worth the risk - do you feel this relationship has a future and do you have strong enough feelings to put your repuatation and future marriage potential at risk?
Or do you have too many doubts and questions to truly believe that this is the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with? If you have doubts then I dont think you should go, this is a situation where you can seriously damage your reputation and you could end up very unhappy in the future all for the sake of spending a few months/weeks with this man on a long "holiday".
Think about this one carefully - decide if he is worth the risk and talk to him to find out how he feels.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, just wondering  +, writes (17 April 2009):
hey your culture is old and should be respected cause there is a reasons why years of history made rules.
if he loves you he will wait and do it the right way and if he is a short cutter than do you want to be with him and in the same token would he want to be with someone who would take a short cut or put you at a disadvantage
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