A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife is keen for us to move in the direction of swinging, really soft-swinging, at least at first. What she has in mind is us each doing stuff (everything short of penatrative sex) with other couples. She is also keen for each of us to do flirty heavy petting type stuff alone with other people (and tell each other about it during sex). Finally, she would like to do either MMF or FFM. What neither of us want is to go to a swing club, or to interview people on-line to make this happen. For whatever reason, that just doesn't feel right to either of us. She would like these things to just happen spontaneously, which I think is very possible for both of us as we are a fun-loving couple that go to a lot of parties, etc. (I would say that the MMF/FFM is the exception -That would take some arranging, so it will probably remain just a fantasy).Like my wife, I also find the thought of these things as very exciting and like to visualize them, or talk about them during sex. Perhaps i am not quite as ready to "share" her as she is to me. Ultimately,, I am unsure about whether I should encourage any of this to happen. My question is to any of you who have journeyed down this road. What happens next? Were you able to try this as an exciting diversion, and then return to your normal relationship with some good stories/spicy memories - like: "remember the time we did X?". "Yeah, that was hot!". Or, is this really a point of no return: where u either live that way from then on, or get divorced. I think I would like to do this if it will just be a few crazy experiences we have and enjoy, and then return to our normal relationship (perhaps a bit spiced up!). I am not ready to trade it all in, however, for the chance to get blown by another girl, etc etc. my wife is not a jealous person, and I think could easily allow or watch me have full-blown sex with another person. I am not quite that free in my thinking, and do have some selfishness about my wife being "mine only". Still, this does excite me too.So, for those who have ventured down this road, can we do it as a one or two-off, just for kicks, and then stop and return to normal at anytime? Just a crazy experience u try once or twice, like bungee-jumping or sky diving, but not something u then have a need to do every weekend? Or is it a point of no return, opening Pandoras box, opening up the stable, etc?Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
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divorce, flirt, jealous, sex with another, swinging Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2013): Seldom the wife asks for swinging. usually it is the husband who presses the wife to swing but if what you are saying is true then either you are not doing your marital duties proparly or your wife doesn't love you.Have you tried to please her more in bed by being more creative and using toys and things? Personally I think cheating discreetly without letting the other party know is better than swinging or cheating with consent.Conterary to other advices I say try swinging if you must with a couple from outside of your town so that if you don't like it you can always forget you did it and put it behind you.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (18 January 2013):
 Hi
Everyone I know that have tried this - it was a prelude to breaking up. Its like cheating with consent and messed with their head and relationship.One or two suggested it because they were bored with their OH.
Up to you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 January 2013):
 what happened next was my marriage broke up...
it will NOT fix a broken marriage... every marriage I know that went into it to try to fix BORING or whatever have died.
I know a few couples that are married LONG term (over 25 years, over 20 years and one couple over 30 years) two did not have children by choice... and they are fine but there is NO jealousy and they have all been swingers since before marriage.
EVERY couple I know who went into swinging to see if they could save a bad marriage could not.
you need to be both very very happily married and both very very secure in your marriage and your feelings for each other. even a twinge of jealousy will make it fail.
IF you think seeing another man touch and kiss your wife and bring her to orgasm is a good idea.... and she feels the same about you with other women and you both want this and the marriage is ROCK solid with NO issues... then go for it.
but I don't recommend it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 January 2013):
 The choice is your's, of course....
As I see it.... she might have well have suggested that you and she start sky-diving with parachutes made out of Kleenex. The results are likely to be similar......
Good luck....
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