A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In a tragic accident, my sister in law kicked a soccerball in my face and broke several teeth, total $4,000 in dental and medical to date, with additional damage unassessed (insane amount of pain, general oral health down, gum line receding because of overuse of one side of teeth, inability to chew from front and right side, etc). Is it unreasonable of me to ask her to pay for these expenses? She has not offered. I emailed her to ask her to pay, but she avoided my question. Though she does seem genuinely really sorry about what happened to me. She's a nice person, so I'm just confused as to why she avoided my question and if I should probe further, or if I am irrational for wanting her to contribute to the medical expenses. Neither her nor I are that well off - I have budgeted for the expenses but I would like her to contribute.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2022): I imagine an attorney would cost the same as the payment you are looking for, their time is expensive. You were part of this, you were taking the risk of this happening.
When I see people kicking balls about I scoot, I don't hang around waiting for someone to kick the ball and knock my block off.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2022): You didn't ask, so you don't know what they would do. They haven't offered, because they don't have a lot of money; and have no idea of how much you're expecting them to pay. Considering, it was a sports accident; which is high-risk activity.
I'm sorry, but this was not a matter of a deliberate action or negligence. It was purely accidental. It would have been nice if she had offered to help cover some of the medical expenses...or maybe your brother might have considered pitching-in a little; but you know they aren't financially capable of helping.
You can consult with an attorney, but I speculate you'd be told the same. It could create bad-blood between you. After legal-fees, you would probably only get a very small amount anyway. If there was major surgery required; then you'd probably have a better case, but the outcome wouldn't necessarily be what you'd be asking for. Law suits don't always yield big settlements. The judge may only award what he or she deems reasonable, and may not include your legal fees.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (11 January 2022):
 I think that if it happened in your back yard and she just kicked it straight into your face then i would say she should certainly pay half.
But if, as i suspect it was in an supervised proper soccer game, then i agree with CMMP and HP, you were a willing participant, and accidents happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2022): Here's the thing about accidents - they're nobody's fault.
I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but your sister didn't hurt you on purpose.
From what you say, she hasn't offered to participate financially in your recovery, because:
1. it's not her fault
2. she's not rich
So yeah, this sucks.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 January 2022):
 I agree with CMMP,
You were a willing participant, it was accidental so I am not sure how she is responsible for the costs.
It sucks, but that is reality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2022): I would tell her to pay half. You are each fifty percent responsible. But if you ask her to pay Remember that your relationship will be forever damaged. And yes while Latin America’s dental care may be cheaper it may come with a steep price to you if they mess you up badly…..it is a big risk because you never know what kind of dentist you are gonna get. Reviews can be bought and paid for just rember that Frankly if it were me I would just get it fixed at a dental school,way cheaper and very supervised
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2022): Well, certainly the "noblesse oblige" attitude would be for your SIL to offer to pay ,although the damage caused was obviously unintentional.When you hurt somebody, albeit involuntarily,the classiest thing to do would be to show your care and concern also by taking care of the medical bills, at least some. But since you say that your SIL is not well off, and $4000 may put a big dent in her budget ( in yours too, ok )...we are only human and I think it is totally normal that she is more concerned about making ends meet ,than about showing class and moral elegance.Plus, as the other poster remarks, it depends, if you both were playing a game , ...when you do physical stuff,..s*it happens- she might very well have been in your place , with her teeth broker by a ball kicked by you.Or at least , that's probably her reasoning. It is a very unfortunate situation, since she is also a family member, so, even in case you could legally demand compensation (which,again,would depend from the circumstances )I don't think you would go through the hassle and cause a rift in your family just for a few thousands dollars .
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 January 2022):
If you were playing a game as a willing participant then in my opinion you took a risk that you should be responsible for. If you were just sitting there minding your own business and not playing soccer than I believe she does have some responsibility.
If I was in your shoes I would take a vacation to another country and get it done there. I've had good medical work done in Latin America (including all travel expenses) for significantly less than getting it done in the US, and this is WITH insurance...
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