A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Some days ago I talked to my girlfriend (it is a long-distance relationship), and she told me that earlier that day she and three friends got naked and ran out to shower in the rain. Two of them were boys. She said it was just something impulsive and fun. But somehow it wasn't very fun for me. I got angry and told her that this is not ok for me. She said she wont do it again, but was hurt and I don't think she quite understood me. Am I being unreasonable? I felt a little bad afterwards, because I don't want to decide what she can or can not do. But at the same time, the thought of her being naked with other men is very disturbing. Do I have the right to deny her to express her body freely?Some of you might think that nudity is natural, and that I am the one who is somehow corrupted. Well, that may be. But nobody is the same, and i don't think that my opinion is so weird that it doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. What should I do?I'm not about to leave her because of this, but I don't want it to be a issue either. It's just that I don't want other boys to see her naked, stupid as that may sound.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): only a stupid girl would be naked in front of male friends and not understand why you'd be upset. id rather beat the crap out of all my friends than let them see my girl naked. they'd probably be understanding about it too :P
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (4 October 2008):
 Have you met or talked to her friends? I think before you over react you should consider their relationship. Chances are, they are like brothers to her and there are probably no sexual feelings between them. Running naked in the rain is pretty harmless, it sounds like childish fun rather than anything romantic or sexual. Anyway, the best thing you can do when you feel uncomfortable about a friend of your partners is to befriend the, as well. Once you get to know the guys you'll feel better about it. If you think there is a chance that she's cheating, or being inappropriate with these guys then maybe you have reason to ask her not to do things like that again. But if she's a trustworthy girl and you don't feel like she's going to mess around behind your back, then perhaps back off on the 'demands' because they won't bode well for your future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): At least she's telling you about it instead of hiding it. I feel like if it was something to be seriously concerned about she wouldn't be talking about it so candidly. Still, if it makes you uncomfortable she should respect that.
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A
female
reader, damaged_goods  +, writes (4 October 2008):
I was in a (somewhat) similar situation. My boyfriend who I was in a long distance relationship at the time, casually mentioned that his female 'friend' was going to be staying over at his place. It just felt so wrong to me but I didn't confront him. Here is my advice to you - go with your gut. If your gut is telling you that something is not right, speak to her about it straight away. If you don't, it will fester in your mind (like it did mine) and the relationship could be damaged beyond repair. Don't allow her to brush your concerns off as a jealous fit - your feelings are completely valid. It could be that her motives are innocent - but you should be able to gauge the situation better once you bring it up. Don't make the same mistake as me. It is expected that people have different value systems and different ideas on what is acceptable within a relationship - YOU get to define what those are for you. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): I was in a (somewhat) similar situation. My boyfriend who I was in a long distance relationship at the time, casually mentioned that his female 'friend' was going to be staying over at his place. It just felt so wrong to me but I didn't confront him. Here is my advice to you - go with your gut. If your gut is telling you that something is not right, speak to her about it straight away. If you don't, it will fester in your mind (like it did mine) and the relationship could be damaged beyond repair. Don't allow her to brush your concerns off as a jealous fit - your feelings are completely valid. It could be that her motives are innocent - but you should be able to gauge the situation better once you bring it up. Don't make the same mistake as me. It is expected that people have different value systems and different ideas on what is acceptable within a relationship - YOU get to define what those are for you. Good luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): Ahh..i love the rain.You have the right to deny, shes your women, you were uncomfortable with the other men around, and you told her. Hopefully does as she said. It would be wrong of her to do it again, and not tell you.But if it was just her....would you then care if she did?
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