A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a general question about a relationship that I've been in for just over a year now. I love my boyfriend. We both have our ups and downs and have been working on creating an amazing relationship together as we love each other more than we've loved others in the past. We went through a very rough patch last year but have come out the other end as we both can't imagine a life without the other.My partner is quite different to me. He loves structure, routine and doesn't step outside his comfort zone much. This means he goes to the gym almost everyday and I only see him when he doesn't go to the gym, so twice and maybe three times a week if I'm lucky. He doesn't come over to my house at all during the week as I don't live on a train line and apparently it's too far out of the way. So most times, if we meet up after work once a week, I will drive to somewhere closer to his work (10-15 minute drive - not farat all but he doesn't drive to work so he says it's easier for me to come to him) He sleeps over once a week, but not two nights in a row as he has sleeping problems. That's a whole separate issue.Most recently, I've been quite sick with the flu and he hasn't come to see me at my house. When we saw each other earlier in the week, I went to see him closer to his work. He has been going to the gym every night since. He is also too afraid that he'll catch it from me.Should I be upset about this kind of behaviour or just let it go? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 April 2016):
 If it was me I would feel upset, when I am sick I want my partner to be there to comfort me and to look after me, and off course the same vice versa if he was sick. No matter what age we are it is nice to have someone their if we are sick.
It seems he is stuck to his routine and he does not want it to change, have you tried talking to him about how you feel? It is important to be honest with him so you can both work on this. If he is not willing to budge with his routine well then maybe you need to ask yourself is this a relationship you want to be in forever where you are making all the effort as he does not want to change his routine. Has the relationship developed in the year or has it always just been set times to see each other? This would not work for me personally as I would want more contact and more effort.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 April 2016):
 He is a bit OCD but the upside is that if he like structure and routine, he feels only comfortable if he can see you few times a week, and he won't get bored of it. Only you can tell if you can accept his quirks. It won't be quite workable if one day you get married and have kids, and you have to do most of the work that he wouldn't do, like driving the kids around. You will feel very resentful when the amount of work that you share is not balanced. He will also be worried that kids would disrupt his routine. It sounds like the world has to revolve around keeping him comfortable. With you, he has his level of interest that would remain the same. He is just inflexible when it comes to making other people happy.
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