A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know this is going to sound stupid to most people because it sounds stupid to me but it annoys me and set of my jealous streak.. (I know I'm going to get some 'hate' probably for what I've done)So me and my boyfriend have exchanged intimate pictures and videos for each others entertainment .. We are a happy couple if I say so myself, we have trust in each other for this, and we discussed the situation substantially before it happened.And well I know all guys watch porn but my boyfriend does everyday/night I'm not there, I don't mind too much because everybody says its normal but I'm very self concious about myself and my body, and I see my self as not being satisfactory for his needs and stuff. The thing that mostly annoys me is that I've seen some of the videos he watches and all the girls follow a same pattern of characteristics totally opposite from me;They are all blonde, I'm brunetteThey all have big breasts, I see myself as below average and have had this pointed out from previous peopleThey are all very confident in what they are doing, I'm excrutiatingly shy and can't say do things unless the lights are off for example.I'm just looking for some advice on whether I should worry or if I need to tell him he needs to dramatically change, he said he's tried to stop but only lasted 3 days .. Its getting me down quite a lot as if I was his preference in looks etc he would use the pictures/videos provided but he doesn't he wants to watch somebody else .. Should I mention anything?Thankyou for listening and I await any answers xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): As the people have said below, watch out.
I had just only turned 18 and went on camera to my now ex boyfriend he asked me to do stuff. I wasn't keen. He ended up print screening me without my knowledge and my face was visible. He sent the pics to me I was embarassed as hell. A few months later, I found out he cheated when I wouldn't take him back he threatened to put them on the internet. My dad had to ring his relatives to try and stop him! My whole family found out. That was 8 years ago. He claimed to have deleted them but who knows. It's fine as long as your face isn't on them and also your house interior in the background.
A
female
reader, rocker_grl_96  +, writes (13 July 2013):
 Ok my turn, let me give you some advice from someone ur age who's been in a similar situation. Now, I am not gonna judge for the pics cause I am a 17yr old girl and I myself have sent them to my bf of the time. I do how ever want to point out that I don't think sexting is such a bad thing as long as u do it right. Make sure there are no distinct features in the pic that can be realized as you EX: face, birthmark, name necklace, ect. And if presiously sent pics have said things either ask him to delete and you'll send new or simply steal his phone when he's not looking and do it yourself. And yea it is risky doing these thinga but u goota trust that u chose a goodGuy. I sent a topless pic to my (now ex) bf and then sometime after he cheated and I found out and dumped him (quite harshly might I add I was VERY angry) and u know what he did with that pic? He deleted it. He had no further use for it and he was a decent human being so he simply deleted it. Now as for the porn thing a. It's not that bad to the point "he's aSex addict" for christs sake I am a chick and I masturbate to porn every night And b. things ppl watch in porn aren't always things/ppl they want to do in real life. Ex. I watch a bunch of weird $**t like threesomes, gangbangs, forced, babysitter, prego, some mild bondage, toys, and occasionally lesbian porn. Do these things make me want them in real life? Hell no! All they mean is that I, like your bf, am simply a horny teenager craving release from sexual frustration. So with that said I wish u good luck with ur man
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): You've described my worst nightmare.
all guys watch porn - no they don't.
Find someone who isn't that interested in porn, there are some guys
Who are more interested in getting off on their own girlfriend. I think with some men they don't see the point in masturbating over something they've already got :(
Future tip; don't do cam shows or anything where your face can be seen.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (10 July 2013):
 Your boyfriend is a porn addict, and that is *not* normal. If he can't stop using for 3 days, that is addiction. It's like alcohol or drugs. Alcohol is used by many people who use it occasionally, and responsibly. However, there are alcoholics who couldn't stop drinking for 3 days if they tried. Your boyfriend is that person.
I also echo -- never ever do what you did with your videos and pictures. The magnitude of what you've done cannot be overstated. You risk all of that going public and viral, and *you* aren't paid to become an amateur porn star.
Get away from this guy. He is caught in an addiction. Before you do though, get into his computer and delete everything sexual you've sent him. I mean *everything*. Then break up. His porn use is abnormal and alarming, and he needs help in breaking away from the addiction.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 July 2013):
 listen to me
do NOT email snail mail, facebook, text sext or any other manner of sharing intimate photos of yourself with ANYONE....
that's a disaster waiting to happen. It's over and done now but NEVER do it again. even if things are good now with the bf, when they go sour (and at 16 they probably will) if he's a jerk he will post them, show them, share them and then the entire school will know and see them.
NEVER do it.
as to feeling inadequate to fake porn stars that's not something you need to worry about either because most men know they are fake fantasy girls and do NOT want them as daily partners.
my husband's ideal girl long dark hair, light eyes Asian, YOUNG, big boobs,
me: short brown hair, dark dark eyes (yes two darks) NOT Asian, NOT YOUNG, not big boobs... overweight (which he prefers me having picked up 30 pounds over the 18 months to the too thing woman I was 2 years ago)
note there is NOTHING about me other than being female that is the same as his favorite porn stars. (and yes he has a few favs)
his looking at porn girls does not make me less beautiful to him, nor does it make him want me less.... or more... it just is what it is...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): You cannot compete with fantasy figures. An image on a screen, which is not real, has nothing to do with you.
You shouldn't be sending naked pictures of yourself to boys. You don't know who he shows them to, or where they can end up. Bad move. Very bad move. What do you think he'll do with them; if you breakup and he's angry?
There will be a pile of responses telling you how horrible porn is and how your boyfriend is an insensitive geek. It's not the porn, it's the behavior and exposure too early in his mental development.
I will agree that he is being insensitive, in your case. He is also stupid. He is on the brink of sexual addiction and it is a hard habit to break. It isn't healthy to watch it throughout the day. It will dominate his time and thoughts.
You're not being too smart yourself. Comparing yourself to a bunch of human blow-up dolls with breast implants and bleached hair. You're still growing and developing; if you're under the age of 22.
Those women are prostitutes on screen; who sell their images for people to masturbate to. They expose themselves to ridicule and disrespect from men. They have low self-esteem; which is why they sell themselves off to exploitation and deprivation. They feel their body is all they're worth. They will call themselves entertainers. How much talent does it take to be exploited? To use sex to make a living? They endanger their health being exposed to STD's, risky breast enlargement surgery, and compromise their reproductive systems. How could you be jealous of that? If you heard their life-stories, you'd scream in horror.
Give yourself a break with that crap about your body in comparison. There are millions of people with better bodies and prettier faces. That is just the way it is. If you feel so bad about your body, then do something about it.
You are still very young, and your body is changing by the day. Not that your body is all you should be concerned about. How about your mind? Your personality?
It's a good thing you're shy; at your age you shouldn't be so sexually active anyway. You're pretending to be an adult; like you have some adult problem. You're having a problem dealing with it; because you jumped too far ahead of your psychological development. Trying to please a stupid boy.
You're too young! You're over your head.
Try concentrating on getting a good education. Your childish mind is not developed enough to handle the things you're writing about. Even if you're 18, you know what a gym is; and you know if you have concerns about your body,
all it takes is good diet and some exercise. Not just hating it.
I speak firmly to you, because you deserve the guidance and advice. Your concerns are in the wrong place; which is an indication of your lack of experience and maturity.
At his age, the palm of his hand is more important than you. Obviously, he isn't prepared for having a relationship; and nor are you. If you were, you'd dump the guy and find someone better.
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