A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated briefly for four months and broke up two months ago. His birthday is tomorrow and I would love to wish him happy birthday. He broke up with me saying he no longer felt chemistry, and I no longer have feelings for him as well. I don’t have any other intentions other than to wish him well and be friends again if possible. Our relationship was short so I moved on quickly. We both have our own lives, a few mutual friends, and are otherwise happy. We were not intimate. I don’t normally contact exes but I do think he’s a great person. He’s someone I genuinely would like as a friend and in my professional network. And I do know that he is friends with a couple of exes. Would this be appropriate or weird? Not sure if it's relevant but when we broke up I deleted him on social media.
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female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (8 July 2016):
Is it appropriate or weird? For me, the question is more why? Really,why? I don't believe you are not thinking of him as you should when you are truly over an ex and moved on... If you feel there is a need professionally for networking, id wait until there is an actual indication that is an option, as in a professional opportunity that genuinely thinks hey it could be useful for me to ask him, since we broke up fairly amicably... But I suspect that line is also to coax yourself into thinking the birthday thing is ok. Really, why? Unless you want to rekindle- and you could have a go, nothing to stop you, I wouldn't text him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2016): I think deep-down inside you want an excuse for contact.
He's an ex, his birthday is of no consequence.
He broke-up with the explanation there is no chemistry.
That says a lot, and I'm sure you were crushed.
Let his birthday pass. Preserve and protect your feelings.
The less contact for any reason, the better for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 July 2016):
 I agree, since you already deleted him off social media it CAN come off as you trying to re-kindle something.
I'd leave it be, if you run into him on the street (or wherever) you can say happy birthday, but I wouldn't go out of my way to contact him to say it. What's the point? He is an ex you are well over and it was a very short relationship.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (8 July 2016):
 Kinda random, especially after deleting him. It might not be, but it comes off looking as an excuse to rekindle something which if he is not interested ,or responsive,leaves you looking like a dill.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 July 2016):
 You deleted him on social media and then you wish him happy birthday ? Not very coherent.
Yes sure, changing own's mind is not forbidden,
But I guess that if you really had felt that he is such a lovely person and a potential great friend, ... you would not have deleted him in the first place and you would have handled the break up and post break-up all differently.
Now he could,not unreasonably, see your birthday wish as you still carrying a torch for him, or trying to reconnect for sentimental, not professional, reasons.
Which is not a big problem, I agree- what he thinks is his own business.
But more importantly, I'd leave " well enough " alone. You say that in just two months you have moved on ... uhm . I am a bit skeptical. If you had moved on, probably you would not even think about the birthday of a guy who is not your close friend or relative, just some dude you have dated for a short while. You would not even think : oh, X's birthday is coming up, must send him birthday wishes. What I am saying, is that maybe, maybe for being a " moved on " ex he is a bit too much at the forefront of your thoughts. So maybe the totally, absolutely moving on process is not quite completed yet . IN which case, if you want to complete it the least contact you have with him, the best ot is for you.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 July 2016):
 There is nothing wrong with 'Happy birthday'. It's how you do it. Saying it as you pass in the street is one thing; sending a singing messenger to the door is another. It is a question of scale.
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