A
male
age
36-40,
*evin33
writes:I have a slight dilemma. My girlfriend broke up with me after 5 years of an amazing relationship to see what else is out there.. This is an update to my previous posts. She started seeing someone after 1 week who randomly added her on facebook and used a couple pick up lines. I couldn't believe it. It's her birthday today and I don't know if I should send her a message saying happy bday. I'm so upset that she would do this to our relationship. I did so much for her and loved her too much. We are our first everything including loves. Because I found out about this on facebook she thought I was stalking her!!! She telling her friends but they told me they can see right through her. They know she is only making me look bad to cover her faults and make this new guy look good. Last fri we met up before she met this guy and she cried holding my hands, wanting to get back together but not knowing fir sure. I told her we shouldn't contact each other because it would b too hard for me to wait if she found something. I promised I would call her on her bday but now feel as tho a text will do. She is upset because when I found out about this new guy I told her everything she said about loving me was false and this situation is heartless. I told her how disrespectful she is and how i don't want to speak to her. Harsh yes but come on 5 days after 5 years and then totally ignoring me? And she definitely met him after cause she confided in her friends who were compelled to tell me. Everyone is shocked because we were perfect for each other. Everyone knows how much I sacrificed and put into the relationship. I am 23 and she is 21. The hardest thing is seeing her with someone else, but Im gonna say it once. I love this girl so much as long as she's happy I can have my closure. So pls help, should I wish her a happy bday? It's been 3 weeks since we broke up.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 I dont think you should contact her at all, never mind wish her happy birthday. She is playing games with you by telling you she still loves you then going out with another guy! All you are is a backup plan just in case she doesnt find anyone better than you (which I'm fairly certain she wont!).
You have to decide - do you want to be played by this girl? Do you want to let yourself be the backup plan?
You deserve more than this; she is being completely disrespectful towards you and the memory of your time together. I think you should cut all contact - delete her off Facebook (it is not a good idea to have an ex as a friend on facebook as you cant help but look what they are up to!), delete her phone number, email address - everything. Show her that if she is going to move on, then you will do the same.
If you text her/call her on her birthday then she will know you are still there for her so she will keep on playing these games with you and leading you on. Stop worrying about her so much - start putting yourself first. What you need to move on is to cut her out of your life, this is the only way for you to realise that you are not together any more and there is no chance for you to get back together.
But by all means, wish her happy birthday if you want but you will be basically giving her permission to carry on treating you like crap and walking all over you.
I hope this helps!
A
female
reader, betray651  +, writes (20 February 2009):
From a girl point of view, I wouldnt because for one thing what makes you think that she was not seeing this guy behind your back and another thing is that you two had been together for five freaking years come on it doesn't take five days to get over someone unless she lost feeling for you awhile back and never told you, then that's a different sorry, but overall if you do want to wish her a happy birthday. text her happy belated birthday....
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