A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this kid since July 2010, he's in the army and is stationed in new York (I'm in Ohio). He is originally from here and met him on one of his visits home. It is now october and I think I am starting to really fall for him but here's the catch- he is going to be deployed in April of 2011. I am at a point where we are not officially dating but he had mentioned that it would be cool if I came to stay with him from January 2011 until he deploys. I am nervous because I don't know if I will be able to trust him because he's only 20 yes old.. (I'm 22) and I'm wondering if it's going to be too painful too be away from him for so long. I'm at a point now where I could walk away unwillingly or stay and try to make things work. I really like this kid.. Input anyone ? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 October 2010):
 He's only 2 years younger than you, what has age got to do with trust?
I see that your nervous, possibly because you don't know him very well and living with him for 3 months is a big step so soon. Things you got to think about here, say if you do go, he leaves in April and is gone for a year. Let's say you two developed a relationship in those 3 months, now it's reduced to a LDR.. Now when your man is overseas you don't get that contact with him daily, no seeing him until he gets his week of leave then he has to go back once that week is over. Sometimes you can go 2 weeks without contact, there's landline phones over there but they're often tied up with other men or women calling their loved ones, if he brings his laptop he can access the internet and email or skype you but the connection is often very poor. Can you handle all of that?
Honestly, you have so many doubts. I don't feel your ready to pick up and stay with him for 3 months due to the fact you hardly know him..plus the emotional attachment you'll have when he leaves for Afghanistan. Your best bet is if you really do like this guy, then I would continue with a LDR, or keep it as friends communicating with him as much as you can till he gets 2-3 weeks off when he is officially done with Afghanistan then see where it goes from there. I will say not every woman can handle being an army girlfriend/wife hence why so many guys/husbands get cheated on while they're overseas giving army girlfriends/wives a stereotype. Choice is yours but think about what I said. I'm an army wife so I know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Your question contains your anwser, you downplay how much u care referring to him as kid because you are scared and could easily talk yourself out of what could be the best decision you ever make, try to make it work because you are lucky to have found someone to love, I'd luv 2 hear what happens x
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (15 October 2010):
I´m surprised you´re calling someone only 2 years younger than yourself "a kid". Is he really as immature as that implies?
Also whatever you two have seems rather platonic at the moment, so if you want to be able to trust him you you'll have to take it to the next level and see where you'll end up.
If you're afraid to take the chance I would talk to him about it. Tell him that you like him (as he obviously likes you) but want to know where you stand because you don't want to go through the anxiety of deployment if you're just a "fling" to him.
...............................
|
