A
male
age
41-50,
*illyfox
writes:Ok so I have asked for help here before and you aunts have been so sweet to me. This is an actual relationship question. Basically as some of you know I'm trasnsgender. Born into a male body but defiantly female inside. I do have trouble finding friends and even more trouble dating. I have been seeing a woman, who before me considered herself a lesbian. I know its confusing as most people assume I would be interested in men but men are gross and mean. Anyway she is an alternative model with tons of friends. I on the other hand don't really have close friends so for my part its difficult to understand this dynamic. Lately her "friends" have been urging her to stop dating me as she has been quite confused by her feelings for me. I'm a woman but biologically I'm not. I understand its not easy for her but I do try so hard to make her happy. I suppose its a pipe dream for me to think this whole thing can work but I have really fallen for her in a big way. I'm not a selfish person however and I hate to see her so emotionally torn. I don't like her friends but in away I think they are right. Should I just walk away from this relationship for her sake? Its been six months and it seems she is more and more confused about her sexuality as well as our relationship as time passes. I will be crushed but I care too much for her to see her like this. P.s. She is a super sweetheart without a mean bone in her body.
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male
reader, lillyfox +, writes (27 December 2011):
lillyfox is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx everyone, you all make a lot of sense. I think her main issue is my male body to be honest. As much as she sees me as a woman with her eyes closed she is having a hard time I suppose with what she sees with them open not that I'm ugly cuz I'm super fit. Its causing her to question her own sexuality right down to the core. She loves me I'm pretty sure but its tearing her to pieces. Part of me feels that I'm being selfish cuz I'm afraid of ending up alone. I do lover her. I'm going to take all your advice to heart and give her time as well as to communicate with her more. I just don't want to hurt her in anyway or cause her grief.
A
female
reader, Ima FreAk!  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 Hiyaaaaa,Clearly you definitely love this woman, and she is confused by this maybe it's coz everything happened so fast but you should give her time.If you walk out on her, you will regret it for the rest of your life because you won't know the truth on how she feels about you.Just give her some time to think about it and when she makes up her decision, you do the same, make your decision based on her decision, if that makes sense looooolAbout her friends, honestly they're not her good friends then... I guess. Good and true friends will support her and let her decide what she wanna do and be happy whatever decision she chooses. Friends don't urge you to do something especially if it's a confusing time.Have you told her how to feel?If you haven't you should NOW and tell her that whatever decision she makes you will support her whatever, I'm sorry to say even if that means leaving you. But leaving you're partner doesn't mean you still can't be in each others lives (not that I'm implying that you guys won't be together).And I also think you should tell her just give it a go, give this relationship a go because if it doesn't work out (heaven forbid!) but at least you know she gave it a try kinda thing. They say, "if you never try, you'll never know" so just tell her sincerly to give this relationship a go coz she never knows what will happen.Hope my advice helps!Good luck! Lots of love,Ima FreAk!x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): i think that it shouldn't matter what other people think as long and you and her are happy that's all that matters nowadays people I thought wouldn't off been so Judgemental does it matter that your a transgender to her if the amswer is now you don't need to worry about others x others don't make your relationship you too do x if your both happy and love each other good on you keep then and use it to make your bond and realtionship even stronger XX good luck xxxx
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A
female
reader, butterfliesarefree +, writes (26 December 2011):
I would give her space but just let her know that you are there for her - even just as friends (for now maybe) don't pressure her into anything
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