A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year before he broke up with me 2 months ago because he said he needed time to mature, he wasn't ready for a relationship, and because we're too close. I told him I would wait for him but he said there was no chance for us to ever get back together in the future. So I've been trying my best to move on and the feelings I've had for him have changed. We aren't friends right now and we aren't talking to each other because I told him to give me time so I can heal and get over him. A few days ago, he texted me and asked him if I really meant it if I said I would wait for him. I told him I didn't know because I can't just go back to the way I felt for him before I broke up and he really hurt me. I found out that he still loves me and he really wants to get back together with me in the future. He lied when he said he didn't want to get back together with me because it would make it easier for me to get over him. I don't understand why he would say that though if he wanted a future with me. Our relationship had it's ups and downs and he was always distant to me and he was insecure. But, he might change. Should I wait for him or move on?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 The little speech you ex gave you is to be traslated as it follows :
" I am young , I am a kid in fact. My life is about fun and games and the excitement of novelty. I like you ,sure, but being with you also implies obligations , and I dislike obligations. I just like sex and changes and tryng a bit of this a bit of that. Sexually too. If I can just be free and roam around and hang out with my buddies, I think I'll have more fun and get new chicks too ".
Of course he could not tell you his plans exactly in this terms, and in fact he is to be commended, not blamed, for
having expressed his wants and needs in a way that was acceptable to you and did not hurt your feelings. But the substance is the same.
Now, he does not want totally burn the bridges behind himself. Maybe he is getting tired of his freedom binge, maybe he realized he can't get as much action as he thought, make he misses the reliability,comfort and reassurance of your relationship. Whatever the reason, he is tryng to get you back in his sphere of influence, without having to make any precise committment.
My advice ? Send him hiking.
A
female
reader, DewDrop123  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 ok here i'm going to quote from the movie "he's just not that into you":Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.What i want to say is...he did it once...he will do it again!Don't give him the chance to hurt you again.And i don't know you, but i am proud of you that you got over him!! just the other night my xbf, after a year!!! he started talking to me and wanting to get back. I answered simply that i'm over him and i won't get through it all again, and i don't love him anymore the way i did!So think again...Do you really want to get back with him?And he SHOULD miss you...but that doesn't mean you should get back with him...When he broke up with you and said what he said, he meant it! he just wanted to look around for other girls..and when he realized that no one made him feel like you did, he texted you. Now Really? you want to be that girl? you wait for him and when he's ready he can have you?VALUE!!! where is ur value dear?
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