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female
age
41-50,
*omantic Help Needed
writes: I met a man in August while out with friends. By the end of the night, one thing lead to another and I spent the night with him. i didn't hear from him again until September when he called because he had found the jewellery i had left at his house. We then started seeing each other merely for the "benefits". Thinks have progressed and we spend a lot of time together yet do not always engage in intercourse. We enjoy each others company and even celebrated Christmas together. I have shared with him that i have developed feelings for him. he has been very honest about the fact his business is currently his priority and he is not in a position to have a serious relationship. He stated he feels a connection with me as we both have had bad experiences and have "trust issues", yet we have both let each other into our small circle of trust. Do i continue our relationship as is and hope things change or call things off before i get too involved and too hurt?
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female
reader, jabey  +, writes (4 January 2007):
You have a choice with this one. And I think as in any relationship its a risk. Now if you really like him, I would take the risk , men think differently to women and take longer to get the deep emotional connection. The more time you spend together the more his connection will grow. I mean you could be with someone who has no excuses and sees you all the time but even thats no guarentee you would not get hurt in the long run. Any relationship runs a risk of hurt, none of us can foretell the future. So just go for it if he seems worth it. I agree that also do keep avenues open. Then if it does not work you know you gave it your best shot, and wont look back thinking what if. Be very strong. Good luck
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 hi
i think the best thing for you right now is to get out of this relationship bcos what u want in a relationship is definitley not what u are getting right now, this guy is not willing to commit himself to anything other than his business, so its either u get used to that or you save yourself the pain of holding onto something you can never have.
you seem like a person who has a lot to offer and deserve someone who has the same qualities, the fact that u were both previously in bad relationship does not justify settling for less. he learnt his lesson and shift his focus to his and what did u do? u let history repeat itself destroy the pattern and get something fresh.
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): You should get the book "He's just not that into you." This situation appears in one of the chapters. That guy is getting his cake and eating it, too. Not only does he NOT have to commit to you, he's still getting to have sex with you. Don't be an idiot. Get some self-respect. There is someone out there who will want to commit to you, but you'll never find him if your emotionally involved with this guy that only sees you as a good f***.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): Hi.....if u understand that in a relationship or rather what is a man and a woman (God made it that way, i think)...then you know that guy is just having some fun with you while u are looking for a relationship..
So go take the risk and have some fun...but make sure it doesn't become a baggage that u carry when the relationship ends....
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (4 January 2007):
 I think you may have found a good guy here.
You spend time together, so you know it's not just about sex.
He told you the truth about his business, when he could of easily of strung you along.
You say you both have "trust issues" maybe it's going to take a long time before he feels ready to be able to have a stable relationship, in that case just enjoy each others company, you never know where that can lead. Don't shut out other possibilites if they come along, keep your options open, if anything this guy may actually make you believe love is possible, even if it's not with him.
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