A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 21 year old female who is feeling real lost and confused. I have been dating this man for about 3 months now. At first we spent so much time together and went out with each other all the time.I met his family and everything. Then I started to notice him acting a bit nonchalant and indifferent. I felt like by now I have developed strong feelings feelings for him and I care for him very deeply. Then I asked him why was he acting the way he was and he told me that he didn't feel like he had that spark for me and that he couldn't see us being together. And on top of that. I had just found out I was pregnant. Now I'm feeling stressed because I don't want to have a baby by someone if he doesn't even want to try and make things work and on the other hand I don't want to have an abortion. So now I'm pregnant by a dude who has completely turned the tables on me. Right now I'm just so hurt its like we were having great compassionate sex all the time having long talks about relationships,life anything and spending time together everyday now he's gone cold turkey on me!! Did I do something wrong? I believe he's messing around with his ex because when I ask about it he gets all defensive or dramatic.But I don't know. I thought he would be more grown about things considering he's 33 and I'm 21. So tell me what should I do should I just sit around on stand by for him and try to get him to evolve into anything for me, should I just leave him alone and have a abortion??? I don't know but I really need some good advice because my mind and heart are both hurting..
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abortion, his ex, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding to my question. I think I'm going to take everyones advice and just leave him alone. I'm too young to be going through this getting all stressed out. I think he just had his fun and is out I'm not going to deal with him anymore. As far as the baby I have no clue what I'm going to do yet!
A
male
reader, pinkey1981 +, writes (2 January 2009):
I know it would probably be best coming from a womans prospective, but ill try to give you advice as best i can. The question i have is did he start acting this way when he found out your pregnant? If so, then hes a deadbeat who doesnt want the responsibilty. If he acted like this before he found out, then hes probably done exactly what he says hes done, lost that spark. Theres a huge age difference between the 2 of you and that usually causes problems. Most relationships are good early on cause its new and exciting. When you want a serious lifelong relationship, you look for someone who has common interest and that wont lose interest in you after a few years. As far as having a baby, I have many female friends that had abortions and now regret it. If theres anyway possible please have it and if you dont want it give it up for adoption. Sit him down talk to him and tell him what you feel. Ask him if he really wants to be in a relationship with you and if he says no, leave him. If he wants to be with you, spark it up some, go out with him, do stuff together, but also add some stipulations. He needs to drop his ex's and get serious with you or get out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Both of us are in the same boat here.. Exactly the same. I was also afraid of telling him that i am pregnent, i packed up the courage and sent him a nice long email, about how hurt i was because of him sending his ex wife sms and mails, how how much it hurt that he use to take me with to motorbike racing and does not even ask, i asked him over 30 Questions and question 30 was, ' if i happen to be pregnant what would you want me to do, tell you about it, give the baby up, or just never mention it?' his reply was, 'i have no feelings for my ex wife, she just wanted some help with starting a business in south africa again. I do care about you, and just ask about taking you with to racing because you always seem so bored when i do take you.' and he went on and on answering all my questions and then ' if you really are pregnant and you to come stay by me so i can keep an eye on my angels and after the baby is born we can get married' so now ask yourself the question are you welling to take a step and tell him, maybe it really is worth a try, or are you going to sit around and wait? If i was you i would tell him, really its worth a try!
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