A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I know my parents did everything in the best meaning for me as an only child. They've been protective, and asked me what I want to do in my life as profession etc. On the other hand they have their characters and the thing I dont like is that they put me in middle of themselves (mother-father). Mother was ALWAYS complaining about my father, and my father was always loyal to her, never talked about her badly to me. Thats why I always like my dear father more. True they asked me what I want to do, and I therefore I studied secondary school of art. But both my parents have universities and good work too. I was always between 2 best students at school. But when I wanted to go to university (of art) my mom 1st said I will not go cause she will not give me money, cause my father doesnt give her money, 2nd she told me I dont have talent. Then I arrange some work and left from Europe to US for half a year. Then returned, arranged rented appartment, made carrier with design, I was very succesfull. Then from amount of work I got ill, then lost 2 clients in one time, didnt get paid, invested wrongly and the crisis arrived. I had no money, no job and no support from my family. When I visited my parents, they started arguing because of me, because of some silly things. Then my mother told me, it would be better if I dont come visit them more. That I can see her or father separately. So I left to my appartment. In the situation when I got "down" they just told me its life, and its also my mistake I got in this situation so I have to cope with it. So I moved to other country by myself. I still feel angry, because they got education, were supported for it from their families, and I was so good student, everybody was surprised I didnt go to study. I still cant forgive them, because now I am 5 years working as a waitress and I feel horrible. Specially when my mother was all my youth very underestimating everybody without university degree. And then she has no intention for it with her own daughter. Now she thinks I am happy, but she knows I work as a waitress and even getting that job is hard. And when I call her, she is like hmm, so you have great life.. pointing that she is not happy and I dont care for her. I think she needs help, I feel like her mother. I could help her, but I dont think its right. Now I am glad not to communicate, but its my family and I miss them. I tried to talk to my mom on the phone, but she is just hurt and I see that she pitty only her, that I dont tell her my problems, but I dont tell, because dont have trust. And also I would not just complain about my life to her as she does it. I feel worse after talking to her. I dont know if this can get better with me trying to solve it or if we are so different and I should just live my life and stand on my principles. Than I feel I should not be in contact with them at all, I dont even want to tell them where in world I am. (but this bather them, they just want address. I feel hurt, I want them realize, I have much worse life than they, but I just didnt get the chance they got, they think I should be greatfull to them in every word) I will be very glad for your opinion. Thank you for your help.
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female
reader, sky_flower  +, writes (11 November 2010):
as much as you are angry..you still them, and they need you...sure, they have made their mistakes but forgiving them and telling them where you are might just open doors for you..holding grudges keeps you a step away from you hapiness...
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