A
male
age
41-50,
*igjd
writes:First of all I know I am a pig and a horrible person, so there is no need to tell me that. I have been married for almost 8 years and have 3 beautiful children with her. Since the begininning of our marriage I questioned our marriage, we were different people and probably got married for the wrong reasons. I am 27 years old and the girl I am having an affair with is 21. She is a wonderful person, she tried very hard to push me away in the begininning but I persisted. And now I am in love with her and she is in love with me for as much as I can tell. I seperated from my wife about 6 months ago and slowly and gradually the other girl has moved in. I love her there is no doubt about that and she talks all the time about spending the rest of her life with me. I have had a vasectomy (she knows that but says I can reverse it), she wants to be around my 3 kids (which I know she would be fine around them), and just seems to love everything about me even though I am on the heavy side and ain't much to look at...On the otherside I have a wife that has known about the affair and pretty much all the details and has not given up. She tells me she can forgive me and just wants me to come home for the kids and for her. She says she loves me unconditionally she just can't share me (which I understand that).My dilema is I am not sure if I truly love my wife like I need to and am afraid that I may regret letting go of the other girl. Then I worry if I am really what the other girl needs or is all the baggage in my life too much. She says it doesn't matter she loves me too much but I cant help but question that.Do I go home for my kids sake and try to make it work with my wife and see if I can fall back in love with her or do I follow my heart and go with the other girl! Ultimately I want to do whats best for my kids!Thanks for any help out there!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I'm a child and i think my dad is having an affair with my mum i always feared this .. a divorce an affair and my parents have been together for 20 years and i am crying so much beause nothing hurts me more than my family falling apart i hate my dad right now i do not know if i can tust him anymore don't do this to your children i think you should stop with the woman or divorce your wife because nothing is worse than cheating and lying then just coming out with the truth i am just telling you how i feel the fact that i foubd out my ad was having an affair tonight i want you to think hard about you are planning on doing
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I think u said it best by your words: I am a pig and I am horrible person"
You are only 27 years old, 3 kids , had a vasectomy and now your 21 year old lover is ok with this.
You made a mess of things: the proof: 3 innocent kids lives in upheaval while you play around. Does your 21 year old think u will remain Faithful to her?
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 December 2010):
 This is a difficult. On one end you have love, and on the other you have the possibility, but your unsure. Now, you have kids. Doing the right thing includes having a happy home for them to grow up in. Can it be that way with your wife? Not if love won't exist. Your kids will learn from your relationships what is healthy and what is not. If you can decide to go home and love your wife, you can establish an environment that will teach them what love is. If you went home and could not find it, you will teach them how to settled for whatever comes. This is a difficult decision, but it is yours to make. We don't know you or your wife and girlfriend, so knowing the possibilities lie in your court for your decision.
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