A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I been dating 3yrs living together for 2yrs. When we got involved with was both separated from our spouses for over a year with the intend of getting a divorce from our spouses. Well my divorce was finalized this year he has put his off several times. I told him how it made me feel by him procastinating. His spouse blames me for their breakup then turns arounds and tells him he needs to marry me. I know for a fact their is no sexually relations between them or has been during our relationship. I don't think I should keep bringing up his divorce bc I feel like its his decision. I just would like to have a option to marry him one day and that's not possible when he is still married. Is he still emotionally attached to ex to the point where he can't let go? I know he loves me and I love him but I am contemplating leaving him until he becomes single. What do you think?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for you time and your comment on my question.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 December 2010):
 It's possible that he might be attached to her, but it's more probable that he's looking out for his financial interests. A divorce also involves spousal support, child support, the dividing of assets and the impact on his kids if he has any. Divorces are nasty and devastating to finances, and just to have a divorce shatters a credit score like a sledghammer blow does to a watermelon.
If his spouse is this vocal about you, it's possible that she's threatening him with not seeing his kids (if he has any), cleaning him out in court, or something similar.
However, if he's truly hung up on her, there will be other indicators than just not yet divorcing. Is he seeing her more than what's appropriate to see his kids (if he has any)? Is he doing nice things for her and going with her to her personal doctor appointments or doing house or car repairs? Do either of them still wear their wedding ring? Does he look like he was kicked in the scrotum after talking with her?
You have every right to decide what to do. You're right to feel that separated is not the same as divorced, which is why I don't ever recommend people starting a relationship before a divorce is final. Separated is still married, and married means too much baggage.
...............................
|
