A
female
age
26-29,
*oliee
writes:I'm a young lady who has never been in a relationship. I'm the type of girl most guys in my neighborhood would describe as difficult and not easy going. I'm very humble and care for people but when it comes to these guys asking me out, I become very difficult. Since childhood I've never really dreamt of having a boyfriend,it didnt really matter to me because i was happy with the life i had,my friends used to tell me a time would come where I might fall in love and all I would say was" Never"!. Last year I because friends with a guy who is pretty cool. We used to talk and text most of the time. All of a sudden it stopped, I was the one doing all the talking. I developed strong feelings for this boy and I tried several times to forget about hon but I could not. I swear to God I love this guy soo much and this is my first time falling for someone my entire life. But it hurts when the feeling isn't mutual. Some where last year, we were texting and then he told me that he almost fell in love with me but he chose to stand down because he didn't want to disturb me. I replied by changing the whole topic. It got to a time I stopped talking to him because he wasn't making any efforts to talk to me. Even then he was always on my mind and I even got him a watch on his birthday. He was so happy but I doubt if he ever wore it.Its been 4 months now and he hasn't even called to check up on me. I know he doesn't care. He is the type of guy who has millions of girls commenting on his Facebook pictures, he has his own car and a little cash. But I'm not in for all that. I've never taken anything from him, and I know all those girls flirting with him won't be there if he should loose everything. It hurts because he is always talking about wanting a loyal girl but he can't see that I'm right in front of him. I thought I had forgotten about him but how come I'm always thinking of him, praying for him and wondering if he is doing good though we haven't been in contact for 4 months. Its very hard for me because I used to brag to my friends that no man can break me or make me cry and here I am. I haven't shed tears for him the whole of this year but life was hell for me in 2015, I was always crying, I was in great pain, I couldn't concentrate on anything. The worst thing is, he doesn't know I'm in love with him, I can't tell him, what if people get to know or I get turned down. I feel a little strong but there is not a day when I don't think of him. I wanna talk to him so bad but I also feel he doesn't even know I exist anymore with all of those gold diggers around him. I'm so confused. I can't think straight. Should I try to get him closer to me once more? And if do how should I go about it. What should I do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): Their is a lot of what if's in your situation. He most likely has no idea that you "love" him. He probably had a crush on you but I don't think it was love. The thing is if us guys have a lot of options with women we tend no to focus on love because we don't have to. So he is in a position where he probably isn't too serious with anyone. He probably see's you as that girl he could never date because you only saw him as a close friend. You should protect yourself, you seem like a good girl. We all are vulnerable if we choose to open up to someone. My advice for you is to be more sure of someone before you open up to them. Otherwise keep it friendly and not too serious. I have a female friend who is absolutely gorgeous (which is not big on my list) but what made me weak for her was that she was absolutely the sweetest girl I met in my life. I'm mean you talk about sincere and caring? She blew my mind to the point I couldn't think straight around her and what was most difficult was that she had absolutely zero interest in me. Of course that is not her fault because you cant change whether you are attracted to someone or not! So I had no choice but to distance myself politely from her for my own sanity. I never told her anything but she noticed and asked if something was wrong. I just told her that I was busy with life which I was and it worked out for the both of us. I check in on her about once a year and I can say that I will never forget how much of an amazing girl she is. You just have to realize when fate has made you incompatible with someone who you may think is perfect for you. Sometimes you just have to admire from the sideline and who knows someone perfect for you may come along. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): I think he has moved on. You two were never on the same page.
You're not in-love. You're infatuated. The fact he doesn't really care makes you desire him all the more.
Let the crush fade away. You didn't strike when you had the chance, and doing it as an afterthought really doesn't have the same spark and chemistry. My grandmother used to say:
"heart-breakers usually become heartbroken."
Crushes become most intense just before they fade-away.
Fill your time with something constructive to do; or go have some fun. Pining over people who don't have a clue is wasted time and energy.
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