A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi,so my bf of a year and i live together, and i just kinda broke up with him. we are perfect, except for that we rarely have sex. i tried to get him to open up and he talked about how he doesn't feel he fits with me sexually. I know his ex and him had quite a sex life, something that we never had. Now, i know his ex is a very attractive girl with big boobs, but i am attractive too, more attractive on some level, but without the big boobs. I asked him to open up to help fix our broken sex life and he said he doesn't feel as comfortable sexually with me, as he did with her. They had the same fantasies i guess. which is crazy, because i don't feel that i ever had a difference of opinion with him on that topic. But, i asked him if there was any other factors... physical attractiveness or anything. and he beat around the bush saying that she had somethings that I didn't and what not. now, i'm feeling like crap, because i know i'm damn hot and gorgeous and that he was with me because he loved me and not her. but he didn't act like it all the time, never complemented me. he even got out of line talking to her at one point about something inappropriate. now, she's trying to start talking to him again, and i'm telling him i feel uncomfortable about it, but he pushes the subject. So, after his, 'you just have to deal with the fact that i find you lacking in some areas' speech, which wasn't really meant to be mean, he was honestly answering my questions, i don't see how we can be together. I'm really broken atm, sleeping in the guest room, moved some of my stuff to the extra bath (he pulled it out and put it in the living room) and everything feels so strange. What should i do? do i just have insecurities that need to be dealt with. Should I try to fix things and forgive him for being honest (hurtfully so) and move on? thanks....
View related questions:
boobs, broke up, his ex, insecure, move on, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (4 September 2011):
 If this man really loves you, he would not make you feel like less of a person than his "ex". Everyone has their faults but he was out of line for pointing them all out in such a way. How would he like it if you pointed out things to him in this manner? Like maybe his penis doesnt turn you on like your ex's. Would feel pretty crappy huh? & you caught him talking inappropriately with his ex? This man doesnt respect you. I say move on with your life. Relationships wont always be perfect but they should indeed be comfortable & can be WONDERFUL. Good luck darlin!!
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (4 September 2011):
 Well the lack of communication is the biggest problem in your relationship. More specifically on his end. Generally what I would tell you is to find out what his fantasies are, and set up a day/night to act them out. But quite honestly, I don't think that he deserves to have a special night right now. With him beating around the bush, not completely opening up about what YOU BOTH can do to have a better sex life, and his feelings about his ex- and his rude response towards you, I think it would be best for you two to be apart. He doesn't seem to love/respect you in the same light as he does his ex. And I think more problems can arise from this situation if you continue to stay.
...............................
|
