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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am madly infatuated with my female coworker. Sometimes, I get the impression that she is just a player. She is my office girl, who helps out with my paperwork. I had asked her out for lunch once before, and she said her car had to go in for repairs at lunch. She didn't offer another day, so I left it. She does pay more attention to me than anyone else in our office, and makes comments how proud she is off me. She also asks me to come in our office and bring her a coffee.Last night was our staff office party. I had actually rsvpd and was going to take a date. But my date got sick, so I was just going to stay at home. Well about a half hour into the party, one of my coworkers calls me up and asks if I am going. Then my office girl gets on the phone and asks me to come. I told her no I wasn't going, and she insisted I come alone and visit. So I decided to go dateless. When I get there, I see her with a date. We got a bit drunk and she was flirting with me a lot. She would constantly tease me and ask to spend time with me alone. She kept pretending to "bag" me, because I drank her beer and gave away her smokes. We flirt constantly, and personally I am super interested in her, but I don't want the people in my office to know about it. Maybe she feels the same way? Plus too, for some reason coworkers suggest that we should date. Who knows why?Anyways, we kept bugging each other all night. And we would grab each other, and just seem comfortable with each others company. She didn't want to dance with me when I asked, and she wouldn't dance with her date either. She also, I noticed flirted with her date right in front of me, even though they are not dating. (Maybe to make me jealous?)At the end of the night, she made sure to come find me and look me longingly in the eyes, and touch my face as she play slapped me a bunch saying our goodbyes. I was concerned, and may be a still bit concerned that she is a player. But I met a fellow that knows her. And he says she is rarely around a bunch of other guys, she always dances by herself or with girlfriends. If she was a player, she would have a bunch of male suitors around her at all times, wouldn't she?When I saw her next, she seemed very nervous in my presence, and I got nervous too. I told her that maybe we should just be friends. I got so nervous about saying this, that I started to laugh. She said "well you don't have to laugh as you are saying something like that". I really don't know what to do. I really like her a lot. But I don't want to cause office drama, and I feel maybe she feels the same as I do.Pleas, Please give me some advice. Do you woman, think she is interested in me? Please tell me. Thanks.
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co-worker, drunk, flirt, jealous, player, smokes Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (15 December 2012):
 If you ask her any more than twice, then yes that will make you look desperate.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea I have asked her out twice, and don't want to anymore. I told her we are just friends nothing else. Asking only twice isn't desperate in my opinion. But I wasn't sure what was going on here.
Thanks
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 December 2012):
Gotcha. You had said my office girl and helps with my paperwork, so I wasn't certain.
Let me point out a few things:
1. She had to take her car in for repairs during lunch is a flimsy excuse. I've used that one before. You don't take your car in at lunch time because it's never done in a hour.
2. The only time she's flirted with you is when she had some alcohol. Sorry, girls get flirty with a bit of booze in their system. I wouldn't read into her behavior at the party.
3. If you don't want to cause office drama, then you had better tone it down with flirting and asking her out.
This girl is either one who really likes the chase (which very few of these girls exist) or she's not really interested. Now if the girl really was a player, then she would let you take her out, spend money on her, continue to see other guys, and have a FWB with you.
So, should you keep asking her out? How many times have you asked her out and she's made an excuse? The answer is, she's not going to agree...and you keeping on asking her, makes you look desperate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I am not. She just helps the office with admin stuff. I am self employed.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 December 2012):
Are you this girl's supervisor?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea she is super pissed off at me now. Personally I think it's best to say that, after all we work together and if she can't be mature enough to keep work life separate, then maybe I should just move on. Please give me some insight. Advice?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea I don't know what to do. I had tried before going out with her. I had hinted at going for a coffee and stuff, but she always just ignored it. Then when I ask her for lunch, she said she had to take her car in.
The Christmas party has been on my mind constantly. Why she acted that way? When I was perfectly ok, with just walking away. It feels like something is developing between us. But it also feels like its because I am trying not to be interested. I nearly got fired at my last job, because my boss was interested in me and I wasn't. So here, naturally I am cautious.
I really don't know how to go about asking her out again, with out looking like an ass. I did say recently that we should just be friends.
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (9 December 2012):
 I would go for it. But I wouldn't let nobody know cause they may try to break you all up. Drama just ask her whats up then go from there she did bring a date to make you jealous and make her desired more. She likes you based on all this flirting and chatting ..
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 From your post it sounds to me like there is an interest there am just not sure how much she is interested or just what she is interested in! I think the best thing to do is to be clear with her and truthful. Ask her out on a date and tell her how you feel. You have nothing to lose here really. Yes I do see that working together could become a problem if it doesn't work out so I guess that is something you both need to talk about.
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