A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 24 and have been married for nearly a year. I love my husband to bits and we are hoping soon to start a family but... there is a bloke who works in a shop on the next street who I walk past nearly everyday (I have to for work) and we always smile at each other or wave if he's in a car, I am always a smiley happy person.Well the other day I had to go in the shop and he asked me if I was single or with the bloke I usually go in with, I told him I was with him but didn't say I was married! I know that's bad but I think this shop guy is a lovely person and would love to be friends with him (thats all) as I work alone and don't have many friends but part of me does feel attracted to him. What should I do try and be friends or just stay far away??? x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (7 August 2007):
 I think you'd be playing with fire to try and have a friendship with this man. The fact that he's already asked you if you're single (and the fact that you somehow couldn't bring yourself to tell him you were married) shows that he's already interested in you. You're lonely and I think you're looking for more than just a friendship. You think you can be strong, but I'd be willing to bet if you strike up a friendship with this guy and things start heading in the direction of an affair you'll keep telling yourself you won't actually go through with it and then one afternoon, you're lying next to him in his bed, you'll be wondering how in the hell you let this happen? Find some girlfriends, go shopping, have lunch with them, you will be so much better off in the long run.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your advice the hard thing is i really would like us to be friends yes i do think this guy is lovely and good looking but i know deep down i would be throwing away everything if i made a mistake i work alone as i said and think he is the sort of person who i would get on great with but how do we become friends rather than just the smiles and without hhim thinking im interested in anything else? x
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Listen to sweet thing she gives you good advice. I know its hard to actually stay away because you have to walk past the shop where he works most days. But if you want a smooth loving relationship with your husband then i would give this guy a wide berth.
You stated that a part of you does feel attracted to him so the likellhood is that this thing will never just stop a just friends. Over time the fellings will materialise and get stronger and before you know it you will anticipating an affair. Don't go there its not worth it.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 I think it is cool u can have a new friend, u r not blind an can notice he's cute and friendly but that's all, it's nice to have friends and to be happy about being good lloking and sociable go on and be friends I think this can help u share and receive from others and to have healthy friendship realionships with others based not only in a sexual or love purpose
;)
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (5 August 2007):
Stay away. If you need a friend, it should be a female friend. No good will come out of this friendship because you have already admitted that your slightly attracted to him, and trust me, he wants more than just a friendship. Plus you've already stated that you're happily married and planning a family soon. Temptations like this are going to come along, but if you're really happy with your husband, you need to always keep your guard up when there's an attractive man vying for your attention. Otherwise you'll ruin your life over a fling. You can smile and be pleasant to him, but I wouldn't go into the shop anymore and make chit-chat. If you do, he'll assume you're unhappy with your husband and start pushing for things to go further. First it may seem harmless, a cup of coffee here, a lunch date there, then once you've let your guard down and feel comfortable with this guy as a "friend" that's when things can turn sexual, and if you're already attracted to him, you won't be able to say no. Enjoy the attention, but keep on walking, honey.
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