A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've never posted here before but here it goes.I dated this girl nearly three years ago. A friend set us up, and things didn't work out. I didn't know her that well and she didn't know me, not to mention the fact that I had just gotten my heart broken and she had never even dated anyone.I didn't think much of it. But, in the past few years, I've realized more and more that she is actually perfect for me. Really, the more I get to know her, the more I realize it. We're both musicians, love to debate, and physically it's just... wow. The problem is, I know she doesn't really see me in that light anymore and has said before that she would never date me again.She now lives in another city for school (not too far, but a couple of hour away) and I plan to move there soon for career reasons. She's coming back soon for winter break, and I'm unnaturally nervous about it. I keep having dreams about her- nothing really explicit, just things like cuddling on a couch or holding hands walking down the street.My question is, should I try to persuade her into trying again? I think we could be wonderful together, but she seems entirely disinterested. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (15 December 2013):
 She may be acting disinterested to protect herself from rejection or embarrassment then again she may actually not be interested in you.
You say you dated three years ago but NOW you realise she's perfect for you.
Having stuff in common doesn't mean someone is perfect for you. Her being physically attractive doesn't either.
The fact that she's hot and likes the things you do but is not interested in you could well be increasing her allure to you. This could well just be a crush.
If you're sure that your feelings are genuine this time and that you're attracted to her because of "who" she is then tell her.
Let her know that you think she's amazing and would like to be more than friends. If you don't ask then you'll never know.
I hope this helps AB x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2013): Ask her. you never know she might be thinking of you.
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