A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,So I have to admit, I'm 23 and when it comes to dating, sex, relationships and love I'm a complete and utter rookie/noob. SO here's my question. I'm dating a fantastic girl and she says in one conversation "Its desperate times" (in reference to sex). I have been intimate with her (kissing and a little petting but that was just once) so I was surprised when she said that. We only see each other once a week but thats soon to change. I also asked her if she wanted to be friends, friends with benefits or something more and her reply was something more.Does this mean she wants me to initiate sex?Or does it mean something more sinister as in she's loosing interest and getting frustrated. She also mentioned that she's talking to her ex but in a very platonic way. Lastly...I'm not a big phone talker. Neither is she because anytime I call its a flurry of stutter and awkwardness (I know I know...cut me some slack I'm a rookie). So with all that should I be on my way out (put my feet up don't call and just let things die out)? Or should I muster up some courage and show her how I feel about her (meaning have sex with her, but not just sex. I mean sex with meaning. I don't have a super high sex drive so I would prefer taking my sweet time building intimacy first).
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 October 2009):
 I'm a bit embarrassed by my prior "older-man typing." Meant to write:
"Most anyone in the 20s, then or now, get laid if they work at it a bit. The simple answer here is: 'Yes, go for it, but know that you can't win 'em all. Just be good to any girls with whom you enjoy life.'"
Elaboration: I'm not sure that today's young men have had passed along the intention of respect and appreciation for women generally expected in my generation. In my opinion, a good man both respects and learns to pleasure his mate . . . which may well result in long happiness as mates.
A
male
reader, LessonsLearned +, writes (1 October 2009):
When a girl says she's "desperate". It means she's willing to temporarily lower her standards because she's lonely and needs a self esteem boost. Lucky you! It means you can get some. Because of your inexperience you don't know how to close the deal. If she's willing to touch and kiss, shes likely just waiting for you to step up take what you want. Just be flattering, be dirty in a joking way, and if things get sexual, just keep going and pushing things farther and farther until she says stop. you can be intimate, just make sure shes in her panties or less when you do it and nature will take its course.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 October 2009):
Wish I could say that I was so much wiser back in the mid-1960s, when I was about your age today. It was a somewhat different world, in my opinion, but in many ways, not much different. Most anyone in the 20s, then or nor, get laid if they work at it a bit. The simple answer here is: Yes, go for it, but know that you can't win 'em all. Just to good to any girls with whom you enjoy life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): Muster up the courage to do what you want to do, behave the way you want to behave. Be yourself. Are you into her? Want to get there eventually, but only when you get to know her better? Then let her know. From what you've described, it's hardly the time to sit back. If you don't feel it's right to have sex now, but you think you could get there, then fine. You can have lots of fun. Work the relationship, and make it into a good one. Sounds like there's lots of potential.
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