A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, should I try and get a girfriend? I have never had one and I also have never kissed a girl. I don't really try to, but I always think that if I find someone genuinely attractive and someone who I would want to pursue I will try to, but that has not happened yet. I always think she'll come some time and I will work for it to make it work. I feel like I would do good as a boyfriend, I'd most likely be whipped but isn't that how it is in real relationships? I'm very sensitive and I hate it most of the time haha. Feeling bad for almost everything and everyone.I can talk to girls too, that's not a problem for me. Except the first girl I tried to ask for her number, I had troubles there I looked stupid and was shaking and it was stupid.. lol Ugh... It wasn't the best time and we never knew each other that much. She was really nice about everything though.I can make people laugh. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the ahole type. I hate cheap dumb a-holes. I've always been classified as the cutie and I don't quite like that. But what can I do, this is me. And they say good girls really dig that. Should I just try to pick up girls at bars or wherever. I'm not into that. I'm into a good relationship that can go far because what is the point of trying to care about someone when you know that it's not gonna work out in the end because you already know she's not the one for you. Am I being cheesy and finding excuses to not get a girlfriend? I'm sure there is someone out there for me. I don't have a lot of friends. But I know if I try, I can do anything.Anyway thanks for taking your time for the long read. Here's the summary part I suppose, should I actively look for one? Or just keep doing what I'm doing right now? which is live normally, have fun, relax and PLEASE progress I always tell myself but I'm very lazy, live the simple life and if I meet someone interesting, try to get to know her and maybe go furthermore from there. Because I'm not actively looking for one, and I'm wondering if that is wrong. I'm 20.5 years old.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): My friend I was in the same boat as you about five years ago and have experienced much of what you did and have in the past. I am firm believer that inter personal relationships are getting harder and harder these days. You have to examine yourself closely and get some of those self help books or guides via google search. The first thing your going to be judged on is your appearance. How else is a strange woman going to formulate a opinion about you? Maybe look at getting a new hair style that will suit your body type. You probably know where the busy hair stylist places in town are and that's where you should go. Then get some clothes that will compliment you. You know you have to hone in on your flirting skills before you can steal the kiss from that special lady. I met my present girlfriend of over four years by working with the cancer society and breast cancer society. I can personally relate because my mom had breast cancer. I am sure it wouldn't take long to relate when the subject of cancer is mentioned. Lots of women in these organizations and you will have plenty of opportunity to tune up your inter personal relation and flirting skills. You can get involved in fund raising and even do some of the walks held by the cancer society in your community. The more you get around women in this kind of setting the more comfortable you will feel and it wont take long before you fit right in. I don't advise going to bars and on line dating sites in your stage of wanting to develop a relationship or friendship. The more you do one on one things or group things involving women the more you will develop your skills and self esteem. Don't be afraid to tell any lady that you don't go to bars to meet women. Just be brief and honest if asked. Its not your thing, don't give explanations. With the I phone and texting it wont take a few minutes to find out if you are a player or not. Be honest if asked if you are dating anybody. Just say you have been so busy and haven't paid attention to meeting and dating anybody but at this point in your life it is becoming a priority and you have more free time from your busy life. Make it short and sweet. I don't tell anyone that you haven't kissed a woman yet. Its nobodies business and never go there in any discussion. That's the same for talking about past relationships. Nobody's business and avoid that topic altogether. Anybody digging is just being nosy. Be natural and honest when engaging women. You look them in the eyes when you have something important to say and when not don't be afraid to throw a smile and show your pearly white teeth. If in an opportune moment develops never be afraid to say a heart felt hello if you know what I mean. Move forward and good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): You DO have to learn about females. They are half of the human society and you are going to live with one of them sooner or later. So yes, get a girl.
Just remember that the first girl you get is not necessarily the one. So you need to learn how to let go, otherwise you may be stuck with a pushy girl, probably for the rest of your life.
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