A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently started a new job (office work). The manager is nice at a glance. She is a bit picky and micromanages but what manager doesn't? Anyway there is a secretary working here and from day 1 she has tried to misguide my opinion about my manager. She says my manager is crazy, addicted to meds, a hypochondriac, fake, insecure...you name it. The secretary worked here for 2 years and she claims a girl had a restraining order on our manager (who is also a woman) and many work studies left because of her. From what I've seen, the manager can be annoying but isn't unbearable. To me she's nice. Now the secretary has me wondering if the manager is fake nice and is a sociopath...but I like to form my own opinions. Maybe something is just wrong with the secretary? My last job was unbearable and it's nice to have a manager who isn't on my ass for once. She lets me do my work and is quiet most of the time. She also leaves early a lot and it's pretty peaceful. Should I take the secretary's advice with a grain of salt? The stuff she says about her is awful, like how her 3 kids hate her and want nothing to do with her...
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (5 June 2014):
 Well, if the secretary has worked for her for two years, she's most likely seen sides of her you haven't. So I wouldn't just assume the secretary is crazy and making this up. However, I always like to formulate my own opinions of people. So I would take what she says with a grain of salt for now, until you begin seeing it for yourself. Your boss may just be good at hiding her crazy. Or the secretary might just really hate her. You never know until you find out. So just keep an open mind and don't pass any judgments just yet.
One of my bosses is much like what this secretary says your boss is like. He is a drug user, thief, and an all around raving lunatic. I try to let new employees see this for themselves without telling them. They always figure it out sooner than later. Anyway, good luck. For your sake, I hope the secretary is exaggerating.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 June 2014):
 Ignore the secretary and when she starts in on the boss say "I'm sorry I don't wish to discuss others behind their backs" and walk away.
make your own decisions.
there are folks that think I'm da bomb here at work and others that find me mildly annoying... others think I'm batshit crazy. I still do my job it just depends on the interface i have with others.... and that will depend on how THEY react to me.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (4 June 2014):
 Sounds more likely that the person telling you all this is the suspect one. Perhaps she is jealous, sees you as a threat to her position or maybe doesn't like not being the centre of attention from the manager now.
You should tell her that you are there to work, not engage in gossip. Be careful of people like that, they often do the whole routine of "Isn't the manager an absolute arse hole?" and before you know it, its been turned around so that your slight response is seen as an affirmative and the manager told that YOU have made that comment. Happened to me when I first stated at work.
Mark
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (4 June 2014):
Sounds more likely that the person telling you all this is the suspect one. Perhaps she is jealous, sees you as a threat to her position or maybe doesn't like not being the centre of attention from the manager now.
You should tell her that you are there to work, not engage in gossip. Be careful of people like that, they often do the whole routine of "Isn't the manager an absolute arse hole?" and before you know it, its been turned around so that your slight response is seen as an affirmative and the manager told that YOU have made that comment. Happened to me when I first stated at work.
Mark
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 June 2014):
What if the Secretary is the crazy one? And based on what you say that sounds like the more likely option.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2014):
 I think (if I were you) I would let the secretary know (next time she talks smack about the boss) that you appreciate her concern, but that you don't want to gossip about people. And if she starts up, walk away - make an excuse and walk away. She will get it sooner or later.
The secretary is absolutely UNPROFESSIONAL.
And I agree DO NOT get involved. The Secretary and the Boss had some kind of argument/problem and not the secretary is harboring resentment and hate towards the boss. Whether is it RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION or PETTY STUFF doesn't matter. I'd stay FAR away from it.
Go in, do your job, be professional, be curious, be polite and don't worry about the rest, for now.
If she is nice to you, stick with that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2014): I think you should form your own opinion, and gauge it by how you are treated. You should suggest to the secretary you will see how things go; and cut-off her persistent gossip. She is offering far too much information. What has all this got to do with your job? Why is this secretary still there?
She has a bone to pick with the manager. You're new, and you don't. Even if every word she says about the manager is true, the manager is innocent until she is proven guilty.
You don't start-off a new job by forming bad opinions about people you don't know. You don't lend yourself to gossip-mongering. Least of all, about the person who is your boss.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (4 June 2014):
 Let me give you a little bit of advice. I worked in a state agency office for 15 years. STAY OUT OF IT! If the boss is nice to you, that's all that should matter. Dont get involved in office gossip and all the mess that goes along with it. Tell the secretary politely that "I am here to work and I would appreciate not hearing gossip." Do not get involved, it will cause major problems. Been there, done that.
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