A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:should I trust my gut instinct ? My long term boyfriend and father of my two children has been acting really distant . He has gone for " nights out with workmates " more frequently and gone to Paris with work for a week .He now sleeps in a seperate bedroom ( his decision ) I feel that he is cheating , but have no proof, should I confront him? I have a good education , a good job but feel his behaviour affects my self -esteem . Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): i belive u should always follow your gut instints there there 2 protect u . put your self first what do u want, follow what your instincts r telling u to do. if they say talk to him do it, if they say leave him then only do it, if your instincts tell u you can manage folow your instincts to guide you . only u know what your gut instincts r adviseing u to do . i wish i had done that tons in the past and havent and only got in to horriable situations . i think your find if u make the wrong descion your instinct will get stronger, if u make the rite descion then your instinct will get less use it as a guide .wish u luck and full sympathy for u
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): yep he is trying to be faithful to his lover. therefore he is not in your bedroom .
question is, when are you doing to kick him out. the sooner the better for you. the longer you leave it the harder it becomes, then you will be used to this situation may not want to do anything about it. if you sort him out now then he knows you are not the fool he took you for. he will also know you mean business and you are just not the stupid wife where he can pull one over you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Yes, trust your gut. He is not sleeping in the spare bedroom out of love for you, rather out of guilt. He wants whomever he IS having a affair with to believe he is "faithful" to her, yet he doesn't have the BALLS to let you go.
Pack his back and tell him to go live with whomever he is screwing around with. Kids or no kids you should not have to be regarded as his convenient room-mate.
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A
female
reader, anna702 +, writes (2 June 2009):
You should absolutely address this with him. Unless you think he'll talk his way out of it. In which case I would do a little snooping around if I were you. I was involved in a similar situation and when I did snoop around a little (checked his cell phone while he was in the shower), my suspicions were confirmed. I'm sorry to be so blunt but life is too short.... Good luck. Let me know if I can help. :) Anna
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A
female
reader, fabulousone +, writes (2 June 2009):
He's cheating.
I wouldn't confront him as much as I'd just throw him out.
Being "out late" and "gone for a week" isn't normal. Of course, the separate bedroom thing should've been a red flag and you should've thrown him out then and there. Said; "Yeah, you can have your own bedroom.. In your own house. Don't come back."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): a major tell tale sign that the relationship is in trouble is when 1 moves out of the bedroom.
yes plse confront him. and then ask him to leave. the late nights and the week in paris is a sign of perhaps a 3rd party. if it was definately work related in paris there may be a good chance he is involved with a co worker.
but plse be strong and not too emotional as you get some straight talking with him. and also do your homework and if he is seeing someone (plse note first he will deny it) then he has to go .FOR GOOD.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): I think it is time to ask him to move out, you are little more than roommates and he is being very dishonest with you.
I agree confront him and ask for answeres...chances are you won't get any except lies, so trust your gut and ask him to leave. If his treatment of you is affecting your self esteem and he doesn't want to work on the relationship I don't see you have any other option except to get out of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): I make it a rule to always trust my gut! Nine out of ten times it's right on.
I also believe in confronting an issue, before it builds into anger. The thing with confrontation is the fear of the answers you'll get! Face your fear, you are better off knowing the truth!
Good Luck!
Britt
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