A
female
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*acqui
writes:Should I trust my boyfriend or is he taking the mickey? He recently said that if I dont ask him a specfic question ie are you going out with X then its not lying if he doesnt tell me what he is up to? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (31 October 2006):
 'Twas no trouble. I hope you make the right choice, and be sure and keep us posted!
A
female
reader, jacqui +, writes (30 October 2006):
jacqui is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, everyone of you said the same as I felt, it is lying by another name. It is hard to accept that I have been a fool, but perhaps he is the biggest loser of all. I thank you for taking the trouble to reply.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (30 October 2006):
 Hi Jacqui,
Although it's not "lying," it's not being honest. And honesty along with communication help to build the foundation of any healthy relationship. Something fishy is going on if you have you ask him specific questions like your example.
If he has this sort of mentality then what's to say he'd even answer you truthfully after you ask specific questions? Taking your example - if you ask him if he went "out" with someone, he might say no because they just stayed "in" instead of going anywhere. How specific are you going to have to get with this guy before he decides that he "might" tell you the truth?
You don't need anyone who plays mind games like that; it's not healthy for you.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I agree with everyone else. NOT TELLING. Is just as bad as lying in my book because its deception. This is a cousin of lying. I was in this situation before and I got the hell out. Thats something that will always keep you wondering. This means you can't trust the person and for whatever reason they didn't tell you is beside the point. Don't be fooled this is just as bad as lying in my eyes and deserves a no tolerance policy. Get out before you're humiliated. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): Are you kidding, he sounds like he wants to treat you like a mushroom and keep you in the dark so he does not have to take any responsibility for leading you on....you don't have a relationship with this guy honey, you are merely one of his stable of girls. I say dump him, he has an immature attitude and you don't want this kind of nonsense in your life.
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female
reader, Amethyst +, writes (29 October 2006):
Umm... whoever told your boyfriend that, lied. It's not necessarily lieing, but it's hiding a NEED TO KNOW TRUTH!
An example of where his interpretation could work:
Say you had a dress he thought was hideous, but he didn't want to tell you that because he knew you really really liked it. Then sadly, someone else voices it, and you turn to your boyfriend. He sighs and says, "It's just not your style hun."
There, he didn't voice it, but he wasn't lieing. Granted, we all hope he'd voice that it wasn't your style BEFORE you bought it.... just to spare you the humiliation, that's aside from the point.
But if he's going out with another girl, and you've never bothered to ask, "Hey, are you going out with anyone else now that you're with me?" then him hiding that fact is a form of deception, which in turn connects to lieing. So in reality... yes, it's lieing. What kind of girlfriend is going to ask that without good reason to!? That's a relationship ruiner, because the guy would think you didn't trust him.
So if you just found out he's going out with this "X" person, and he tried to play it off as "well you didn't ask me" then you need to let him go. At least, in my opinion.
One of the main factor's of making a relationship work is T-R-U-S-T.
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