A
male
age
36-40,
*s77
writes:I'm 32 years old, dating my 22 old girlfriend for 3 months and days ago we had sex without condom and it was amazing, I almost forgot how good it feels lol, last time I had unprotected sex was with my ex wife who I divorced three years ago. Since she's on birth control, she's the first girl that I wanted to have sex without condom after my divorce, my last two ex girlfriends and my FWBs I always used condom. I trust her but sometimes this scares me, I get confused. Should I trust her on birth control? We talked and she said I can trust her, that she doesn't want kids right now she's young, still in college, she would never do anything to trap me. I just want to be confortable with this, maybe I will after a few weeks, I just need to get used to. I have varicocele and I'm infertile with low sperm count, but however I should take care, I need to schedule a sperm count test again. Anyway am I ok? Should I keep trusting her? Should I go back and use condom? What would you do in my place?
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condom, divorce, ex girlfriend, ex-wife, my ex, sperm, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2018): Pull out. Also her age group has the highest std rate
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2018): If you want to have sex but don't want kids then it is incumbent on you to take control of your own fertility.
Why wouldn't you trust a younger chick whom you barely know and who could possibly have daddy issues and/or is looking to latch on to an older guy for security and/or a possible payday pregnancy? (*sarcasm*)
I NEVER trust anybody who says I can trust them; trust can only be earned through one's actions, and three months would not sufficient time for me to develop the trust required to have a kid together.
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A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (27 April 2018):
If you dont want kids, you'll have to use protection especially condoms. Accidents happen even if you don't want kids. Trusting someone to keep an eye on their birth control is never a good idea. Take control yourself by using condoms. Preventation is the only way to stay safe from STIs and unplanned pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2018): So when you had sex without a condom you actually in a way slept with every person she ever slept with.Did you both go to the doctor and get fully checked for STDs before you did not use a condom?Are you ready to be a father?Are you ready to be connected to her for the next 18 years if your relationship does not work out? It is not should I trust her on birth control but what about if the birth control fails?Birth control fails all the time. Next time think with the head that is on your shoulders not the one in your pants.You should be old enough to know this. Unreal.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 April 2018):
 Do you want kids?
If not, WHY leave it up to her to be in charge of birth control?
I GET that it "FEELS" better without condoms but either you want to have kids or you don't!
There are SO many things that can go wrong with the birth control for women. If she gets antibiotics, forget a pill here or there (most pills actually overlap but a missed pill can STILL mess up the "plan).
I have 1 child (out of 3) that I got pregnant with while using birth-control and I DID take my pill EVERY day on the SAME time. (had for years). I wasn't careless. BUT I was given meds that MESSED with the birth-control and no, my doctor did NOT explain that to me. I don't regret my "extra" child but I was also MARRIED to the father (still married to him).
You might be low sperm-count etc. etc. An acquaintance of ours just became grandparents... to grandchild #4 AFTER the son in law had had a vasectomy... lots of drama but the DNA didn't lie. He was the dad and the vasectomy hadn't taken.
You might not be super fertile, but SHE is in her MOST fertile age.
There are TWO of you in this relationship you are BOTH 100% responsible for this. YOU should BOTH be in charge of birth control. BETTER use condoms than have to go through pregnancy scares (which she really shouldn't HAVE to deal with either at age 22!)
Be smart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2018): Sure, Dad! Why not trust her? She’s clearly an intelligent and sensible woman with no issues! Do you want to be called Gramps, Grandpa or something else?
Good luck, Pops!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 April 2018):
 The only person you can trust when it comes to birth control is yourself, and even that isn't foolproof. The only 100% guaranteed birth control is abstinence.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 April 2018):
 At the risk of sounding cliché, there is a name for men who rely on women to protect their reproductive choices:FATHERSNo birth control is effective 100% of the time and they can be compromised by other medications such as antibiotics, from what I understand. Not to mention that you have no control over how reliable your girlfriend is at taking them. If it's going to be up to your girlfriend to prevent a pregnancy BY HERSELF, then don't cry foul if, one day, she decides, BY HERSELF, to continue one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2018): Yep. Use condoms. Nowadays women have too many birth control options to have any excuse
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A
female
reader, WantingOut +, writes (27 April 2018):
If you don’t want kids then don’t trust her ! Protect yourself that way you don’t have to worry
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