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male
age
41-50,
*urst
writes: Hi friends..i have been involved in a relationship for 9 months now with a certain girl..the problem with me is she was always saying she loves me a lot..but soon i came to realise that she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend,she confess and apologise to me and promise me not to do it again!! but i love this girl, the problem is she hurted me so bad n i dont trust her now. i dont wana lose her..is this the right thing i'm doing? i tried to leave her but after sometime i found my self geting back to her..am i doing the rite thing here? plz help.Burst
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 my friend bf cheated on her and she still is hurt by this, they had split up for 2 weeks but he asked her back and because she loved him so much she took him back.. tho she stated i cannot promise to trust you because you broke that, you have to earn it back and hopefully in time u will get it back.. you will always feel hurt about this, but its up to you if you honestly think you can get over it? do you think you can?
only you can tell wether or not its the right thing to do..
with me personally i think everyone deserves a second chance (but hell half no fury like a woman scorned a second time huh lol)..
if i were you ide A) if i took her back ide tell her the above i cannot trust you like i did you have to earn it etc. and try and move forward and leave it in the past if you can..even see a specialist in future to help you both talk and get over it if need be..
B) if you dont think you can go past it then youde be best ending it, because in time it would destroy me and i wouldnt be able to live with that person..
thats what options i would look at if it was myself
sorry if my opinion doesnt help take care wish you the best xxxx A
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (14 January 2007):
 When someone does something like that to someone, it is always hard to forgive and some people never can. However, the love that was there before doesn't completely go and we find ourselves in a horrible situation: the trust is gone but the love remains! And where do we go from there?
Only you can answer this question. I guess she hurt you really badly and you need to think about whether you can move past this and trust her again. If the answer is no and you are going to constantly be wondering where she is and who she's with, it's not worth it. Life is too short to waste time being unhappy and, being insecure about your partner, is not a good way to live.
If you really love her and want to be with her, you can work on this. Make sure she's ready and willing for how hard it's going to be to repair the broken trust between you. If she's truly sorry and willing to gain your trust back and make it work then there's no reason she shouldn't be given a second chance. I don't know her, only you knows whether she is truly sorry and whether she will do this again.
Nobody wants to be that pathetic person who gets treated badly then keeps taking them back. I think, if they do it a second time, they should be gone for good, love or not. But for a first offence, maybe a second chance is needed. This was with an ex, feelings for exes don't go overnight. Maybe this has made her see what she feels for you?
If you love her enough to make this work and, in time, trust her again then give her another chance to prove how much you mean to her. If you can't move past this, go and find someone who will not cheat and who you can trust.
Good luck
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