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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been 7 years with my boyfriend who is married but till today when I broach the subject of divorcing and marrying me, he still says he cannot now unless he is prepared his father's depression worsens plus he has parkinsons. Our relationship is loving except for this fatal flaw. I've tried leaving him but we still got back as we were so sad when apart.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 He is using his father as an excuse which is very sad.
PARKINSONS will not go away if he stays married either?
If you are happy with this situation, you need to take responsibility as you have allowed it to carry on this long. This man will never be ready. He gets what he wants without getting divorced, why should he have to go through the sacrifice and bother
If you are not happy with this, move on and stay away for good.
I am sure you would not be happy if you were the wife and this guy was carrying on with another.
hope you make the right decision for everyones sake.
A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 This is going to be a brutal answer... but I seriously think that hearing this will help you.
If your boyfriend, being the compassionate and sensitive man he is... is taking in to consideration that his ill father will become more depressed if he divorces his wife, then why isn't he taking in to consideration that you have been with him as his mistress for 7 years and YOU are becoming depressed over the fact that he will not divorce his wife?
He's not leaving his wife because of his father's illness because it is an excuse that you are buying. Why would he divorce his wife? You are there and completely willing to continue this relationship (or at least you have been for the last 7 years) just the way things are. He's got a pretty damn good deal going on here.
It sounds like you are the one with a crappy deal. People don't change things that are working for them. I say... admit that this relationship is going to go know where, even though you love him, and find someone that isn't going to expect you be his mistress for 7 years, and wait for YOU to be sick of it beore ending it.
You have more value and worth than this. You don't need to settle for a relationship like this, he doesn't love you, if he did, he would divorce his wife, help his father and be with you.
I know this is brual... and I think you already knew what the majority of us would say when you posted your question. Maybe seeing our answers in print will hlp motivate you in to making some changes that you can be proud of.
Be strong, and be proud. You can do this.
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I am sorry it sounds like hes making excuses, how does his fathers illness determine who he should or shouldnt be married to?
he has his cake and is eating it at the moment. I have friends that have been the other woman and I always end up being a shoulder to cry on for them.
Things are just perfect for him hes got a wife that will cook clean and look after him, and he has you.
Hes not leaving her, get rid hun before it begins to damage your self respect.
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