A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok so ive previously been writing about questions i have concerning my boyfriend and i. well the story gets more interesting every week. to give you a summary my boyfriend and i have seen dating for about 10 months..in that time we broke and got back together. i guess in that period of our break or while we were together(still trying to figure that out) he me some girl off his networking site and had sex with her, and is now claiming shes pregnant by him.well since then he has been faithful to me and claims he wants nothing to do with her as does she. she says she doesnt want him involved with her or the baby. but for my benefit i want a dna. well after writing back and forth to her she is now saying her boyfried could be the father. she never once mentioned him or a possibility of anyone else being the father. so now shes kind of shying away from getting the dna i think because her boyfriend doesnt know how she was whoring. my question to you is should i tell her boyfriend in hopes of getting the dna and for the truth to come out or leave her and her psycho ass alone.again i dont think her boyfriend knows about the possibility of this child not being his. please i need advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thanks for the advice but I kind of went with my instinct and wrote to him anyways. And i was right to question every move and everything that was said. Turns out the girl was faking the whole pregnancy because she wanted to get revenge on my boyfriend for "playing" her...and shes older i think 29 and she's playing these games..so on that note..I think i'm done with dearcupid for now..Its time for me to go with what my gut tells me..Shes a little kid and pretending to be pregnant is no joking matter..so I say to everyone that has a question about their relationship or "three's a crowd" type of situations go with your gut and what YOU want to do..if not you may never find out the truth till its too late..n thanks again all..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): You have every right to demand to know who's baby it is. Sweeping it under the carpet is not going to make it go away; for at least 18 years. So I understand that its better for you to know the truth now. At least you will be able to make a decision on your relationship. What if she breaks up with her new boyfriend then changes her mind that yours now owes her child support? What if you are also pregnant when the truth finally comes out. Its better to get that test before you become more committed to him. But I wouldn't tell her new boyfriend though. Because if he gets upset about his new baby having to be tested for a possible match with another man then he might dump the mother for being such a slag. If I was you, I would tell her that if she wants you to keep quiet, she should do the test with your boyfriend and its done on the quiet. If she refuses then tell her you will have to call her boyfriend to fill him in on all the details.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 February 2010):
This whole ordeal really shouldn't be any of your business. I know you're now involved because you took your boyfriend back, but the person that should be dealing with any of this is your boyfriend. So, I'm assuming you took your boyfriend back because he must be a really good and standup guy, so if the child could possibly be his, wouldn't he want to know if the child could possibly be his? And if so, he would be responsible for helping to care for it.
So to answer your question, no, you shouldn't tell him. The pregnant train wreck should tell her boyfriend (which I'm guessing she won't). If a DNA test needs to be done (which everyone advised should be done in your previous question), then your boyfriend needs to put his big boy pants on and take care of this mess himself. So yes, you should quit getting involved in this drama and quit talking to that girl who doesn't know who the father of her child even is. And as I always advise in these situations, there's always Maury Povich for some added entertainment value.
On a serious note, if your boyfriend isn't even trying to take care of the issue and thinks it will just go away or something, then I hope that you understand that this is a pretty clear indication of his character. He could have possibly hooked up with her while you were together (so he might be a cheater) and now he doesn't want anything to do with what could possibly be his child. In a short 10-months he's shown you a lot about him, so definitely don't get involved in this love triange drama and consider dumping this guy, he sounds like a mess himself.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 This issue is between this other girl who might be pregnant and the men who might be the father.
If she cannot work out who the father is all three concerned will need to have DNA tests to determine who the father is. If it turns out the father is your boyfriend then he will be liable for financial support. He will also need to make a decision on how much, if any, involvment he will have in his child's life. This is the only aspect of the whole sorry mess that might affect you.
And other than that, butt out and let those three work it out between them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): I dont think its your place to tell her boyfriend anything. Its up to your partner to speak to the woman and insist a DNA test be done. If it is his child he has a right to know and be involved in the childs life. If it isnt his child, you can both move properly and makle a fresh start. How the other woman explains things to her boyfriend is really her business.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): to be honest - although you have been in a 10 month relationship with your boyfriend, it is ultimutely his decision to have a DNA test and if you go behind his back and force their hand, you could be the one who ends up losing out. He doesn't want the baby and she doesn't want him involued with the baby - thus why press an issue that isn't going to have a good outcome anyway. And their is still a big possibility the kid is her boyfriend's - in my opinion, do you want to risk ending yours and their relationships. My father has raised two children that are not his biologically, he is more a father to them than their own father - my point is, fatherhood takes more than similar DNA so if they are happy with their own little family then leave them be because it just appears selfish on your part to declare the potential truth. That is my two cent.
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