A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are going through a divorce due to his affair. Should I inform the other woman that he's married? It seems she doesn't know. And in the chance that she does know and I look like a fool, I can live with it. I know it's selfish and I'm doing this for myself. I want to ruin their chances. But I also think that if she doesn't know, she deserves to know. I know how much it hurts.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2019): Well if she does know, no harm, no foul and if she doesn't know, well yeah you might be doing it for selfish reasons but she does deserve to know. He's screwed you over, I wouldn't judge you for doing the same.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2019): Of course she knows he is married and he is divorcing. Can she be the cause of your impending divorce?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 August 2019):
 Once the divorce is completed, I’d do it. I’d want someone to warn me if I was with a cheater. That doesn’t mean you have to, but people deserve to know. If she already knows, what have you lost? If she doesn’t, she’s gained the truth. You don’t really gain much either way.
However, I think you should wait until you genuinely want to do it for her sake, not to ruin their chances.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 August 2019):
 Such honesty! How refreshing!
(and no I'm not being sarcastic!) I think you are 100% honest when you say you want to do this FOR you, and to ruin their chances.
HOWEVER, I think the "feel good" you HOPE to get from doing this will be short lived. VERY short lived. And it also feels like you want to punish HER for HIS failing to be a decent husband. Know what I mean?
But... with that said. Yes, I would probably tell her. I do think she knows, though. Maybe not the entire truth but I think she knows he is going through a divorce so think it's OK to date him.
What makes you think she doesn't know?
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