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age
36-40,
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writes: Hi, Dated a guy a few months back who left me for someone that he met on a business trip. However, he didnt just tell me straight out he made up some excuse that he didnt love me abd wanted to make sure he had found the right person before settling down - he left me upset and confused. 2 months later he appeared back in my life to tell me that he missed me. He also has a lot of of emotional stress at the moment as his dad is dyung in hospital. I've been through this before so offered to help him and speak to him.Meanwhile im dating a guy that I met yhriigh a friend a few weeks after my break up. Hes truly a great guy and I developed feelings for him pretty quickly. I know/knew he likes me. However, I began to question my feelings when my ex came back onto the scene-i did miss my ex and I interpreted this as true feelings for him. After days of speaking with him I decided I wanted to give ut a go with my ex again. That night we slept together and I called the new guy I was dating the very next day to explain what was happening (ie feelings for my ex). I saw my ex over that weekend but woke with a horrible sinking feeling that I had acted irrationally (not normally like me) and I had made a terrible mistake breaking up with such a great guy for someone who had left me. The following Monday I text my ex to tell him that I didnt want to seen him again and asked whether the new guy would want to give thungs a go again. He agreed we shoukd as he really likes me too and ee never gave it a chance. I asked him whether he'd like to talk about what happened and I would clarify things but he said he just wants to get back to looking forward to seeing each other. I havent told him that I slept with my ex during that period- does this matter? I want to be open and honest as I respect him but I dojt know if it's necessary/whether he would even want to know. We werent official as such at the time but ee had feelings for each other and ut was developing into something more. One positive from this is that we're now both a lot more open with eachother abd ee speak as though were more serious as a couple-it was pretty undefined previously and I didn't really know the extent of his feelings for me/whether he wanted something more serious. We hadn't reached that stage of discussion but now we know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice so far. I am practicing safe sex, just yo clarify but appreciate the comments about slowing down.
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reader, CMMP  +, writes (29 July 2013):
I don't think it'll help, and it's not very relevant as you two don't have an exclusive relationship. I think you've handled the whole thing pretty maturely, except for jumping into bed w/your ex. But that kind of thing happens when someone who rejects you wants you back. It's good for your self esteem.
Next time be careful or you may lose someone who could end up being amazing for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): You only need to tell the dirty little details of what you do, when you are committed in an official relationship.
You were doing what these guys were most likely doing when you weren't around. Basically, having casual sex and trying to get your bearings in the dating world. You owe no one any explanations. At this point, you still aren't really committed. You're just going through a trial period.
You may feel differently in a few days or weeks. You are moving too fast in every direction, and you really need to slow down.
I also hope that you practice safe-sex.
It might be a good idea that you both get tested for STD's and HIV; if you decide to continue into a monogamous relationship.
Until you are tested, insist on using condoms. Do not jeopardize the health of anyone else; due to your own indiscretions or lapses in judgment.
If you did have unprotected sex with your ex; then you should tell him you had "unprotected sex."
With whom, does not matter unless you test positive for an STD!!! You've only had weeks between these guys? Really???
You have to wait a minimum of 30 days since you last had intercourse to be tested for HIV. You can test anytime for STD's. That way you aren't spreading infection, or getting infected, between partners. Or, if you get pregnant; you'll know who the father may be.
Even if it was a couple of months, since. Please get tested if you didn't use condoms between these two men.
If you wisely had safe-sex, keep your mouth shut (and your knees together) until you make up your mind who you want to be with.
Always protect yourself and other people. Use condoms. If you are sexually active; keep condoms handy. Don't depend on him to always have them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): You only need to tell the dirty little details of what you do, when you are committed in an official relationship.
You were doing what these guys were most likely doing when you weren't around. Basically, having casual sex and trying to get your bearings in the dating world. You owe no one any explanations. At this point, you still aren't really committed. You're going through a trial period.
You may feel differently in a few days or weeks. You are moving too fast in every direction, and you really need to slow down.
I also hope that you practiced safe-sex.
It might be a good idea that you both get tested for STD's and HIV; if you decide to continue into a monogamous relationship.
Until you are tested, insist on using condoms. Do not jeopardize the health of anyone else; due to your own indiscretions or lapses in judgment.
If you did have unprotected sex with your ex; then you should tell him you had "unprotected sex."
With whom, does not matter unless you test positive for an STD!!!
You have to wait a minimum of 30 days since you last had intercourse to be tested for HIV. You can test anytime for STD's. That way you aren't spreading infection, or getting infected, between partners. Or, if you get pregnant; you'll know who the father may be.
If you wisely had safe-sex, keep your mouth shut (and your knees together) until you make up your mind who you want to be with.
Always protect yourself and other people. Use condoms. If you are sexually active; keep condoms handy. Don't depend on him to always have them.
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