A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I have a question, and I'm especially interested in hearing from the women who are bothered when their husbands or boyfriends are looking at porn. You see, I don't really like hard-core porn and rarely bother with it. I do look at other pictures that are not porn, and I masturbate when I do so because my wife is much less interested in sex than I am. My wife knows I look at these pictures, and she's not too thrilled even about that, but I don't think she realizes that I masturbate with them - it's not exactly the kind of pictures that men usually look at when masturbating. I am trying to decide if I should tell my wife the real reason for having the pictures I have. I like to be honest with her as much as I can.So my question is, what is it that really bothers you: Is it that your husband or bf is looking at hard core porn with those women with their over-inflated breasts, or is the fact that he masturbates while looking at someone other that you that is the real issue?
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male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (20 April 2006):
NO WAY!! as you can see by the women who responded to this post, chicks do not understand anything about guys jerking off. Come on, one of them acutaly called it "cheating" , get a life lady!! It is perfectly fine to jack it to whatever floats your boat dude, any guy knows what I am talking about. As long as you are doing it by yourself and not "getting any help" you are fine but again, DONT TELL, they just can't understand.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): Yes we do get hurt when men are looking at the perfect women and yes we do get hurt because your wanking off to someone other then your partners. but the most hurtful thing of all is when our partners do this and lie about it, this causes trust issues, this makes us think if he can lie about this i wonder what else he is lying about? Once the trust is gone then there is nothing. I was once a very horny girl, i wanted sex everyday with my bf but the day i found porn i was totally crushed, now i only have sex when he begs for it and even then i don't enjoy it, i have lost all intrest in sex because i don't feel good enough anymore, i feel fat, ugly, and non sexy, i can't even look in the mirror anymore without crying and asking myself why no one put me down at birth because i am such a loser and im ugly and i dont deserve to live. its got so bad that i strave myself and i go to them gym everyday now and I need to get surgery done soon because of some health problems i'm having without this surgery i won't be able to have children, but instead im putting that on hold until i have enough money to get a boob job first so i can look like the half naked super models that my bf has pictures of pinned on his study wall or the young pretty teen girls in that porn he watches when im not home. Anyway thats my story, i think you should tell your wife, trust me she may even be ok with it and if she doesn't like it then accept it and have some respect for her feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2006): I guess I wanted my husband to need me for his outlet, but in practice, not many women understand the biological aspect of emptying the sperm sacs and the varying relationship this has in different men with their need to ejaculate (like going to the toilet). I think many women will not admit to enjoying teasing a bit and denying their man (within reason) leads to increasing urgency and hence more of a 'turn on' for them. I have been disappointed when my fella has masturbated because I wanted him to do it with me. On the other hand, if 'I have a headache', it is not really fair to expect him to wait if he can't sleep due to his annoying erection when he needs to get up for work the next day!
As for porn, I accept it is 'normal' to use it as an aid to ejaculation as long as there is no abuse involved in the production of such stuff. I do have a problem with animal sex things and playout rape scenes which portray a 'dark side' that effects my attitude to sex with such a man.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (16 April 2006):
What exactly do you look at, You can bet that your wife is not so stupid that she thinks you just look at the pictures, she knows you wank over them and is just accepting this, you said yourself she does`nt like it.
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (16 April 2006):
It breaks a woman's heart that she isn't the one that rings your bell.
It doesn't matter if it is the airbrushed women in porn or cartoons. It doesn't matter if it is your neighbor's grandpa or your family dog.
It all is cheating the love, the respect, and the trust of your relationship.
To a woman it feels like cheating, it looks like cheating, it hurts like cheating, even if so many guys want us to believe it is not cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2006): whatever the reason, some things are better left unsaid
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