A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a bit of a cliche but I could really use some advice. Here goes.I'm an 18 year old female. I met my best friend at school when we were in y7. I first realised I had feelings for her when we were about 13.I've tried to ignore my feelings, I actually have a boyfriend at the moment, who I do like.But he doesn't compare to how I feel about her.I'm in love with her, not that teenage kind of on off love. I genuinly am in love with her.I've had crushes on other girls too. But I don't feel like there is anybody I could tell other than my best friend. However I am worried that if I tell her we will become less close.I don't think she feels the same about me as she also has a boyfriend who she really likes. However, she has told me before she would consider doing 'things' with girls. and she always flirts with me after a few drinks.So should I tell her how I feel.Or perhaps just let her know that I have had feelings for girls.Help!
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female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (3 January 2011):
I know this is an old post, and you may have already decided what to do and either done/not done it, but someone else might see this and take my advice.
For people who are questioning their sexuality and are currently with a member of the opposite sex, please be sure before, and I mean 100% sure, not just mostly sure, that you're straight before you actually get married. I have a good friend who's mom just left her dad because she finally accepted that she's gay. It's tearing the whole family apart, and my friend is depressed, and has started cutting. Seriously, don't ever think you're going to fix yourself or figure things out after getting married. If you're bi and want to get married, it's a very irresponsible and selfish thing to not tell your future husband or wife about it before the marriage. If you're gay, be gay, I'm bi, so what? Just be true to yourself and figure these things out and get them resolved completely before you get married and for ghrist sake before you have kids.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): i'm 23 now but a few yrs ago i was in a very similar situation to you - except i was on your friend's side. my best friend and i were so close, people already questioned our relationship. she'd always hug me, fall asleep on my stomach and we'd hold hands all the time. she had told a mutual friend of our's that she thought she was gay, but i had never thought twice about my sexual orientation - i loved her just as i loved my other friends.then one night after a party i was staying at her house. we were both a little drunk and lying in bed, she kissed me - i kissed her back. we were together on and off for 2 years but after 2 years it became pretty clear we were on different pages - i (very regretably!)cheated on her repeatedly with different guys after freaking out about whether or not i was gay. i knew very well we shouldn't be together but i didn't want to lose her friendship and was too scared to break up with her. i loved her but just not the same way she loved me so i started to pull away and did awful things like stopped kissing her and flirted with guys in front of her. i broke her heart, ruined our friendship and we haven't seen or spoken to each other in over a year.moral of my story - be very careful with straight best friends! we love you but our thoughts and feelings can be just as clouded as your's and losing you is just as scary to us as it is to you. goodluck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Well if it were me.. I would just tell her.. I just told my straight friend I was in love with her.. Of course didnt change anything, but at least I feel free now..
So I live by this rule if you have something to say spit it out.. Never know until one tries..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response.
I've come to terms with being at least bi.
I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian. But for the moment I'm going to stay with my boyfriend as I am happy with him, I just know that I would be happier with her.
I'm not sure if she knows how I feel.
She said to me not long ago
"everything in your life is perfect but your still not happy, it's as if there is something missing"
I was dying to say 'its you' but I couldnt bring my self to do it.
If I do decide to tell her, how do I go about it. If she has no idea. It's not something I can just randomly bring up in conversation?
Thanks again for your response :-)
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