A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been dating for 6 years and he never once mentioned marriage in our relationship, everytime I brought it up he gets angry at me...years past he's seems like he don't care about me and he treats me like crap, he always seeks support from his female friends not me, I got jealous and tell him to share his problems with me not his female friends and we got into a big fight cause he told me he knows them longer than me. His attitude got worse and I've decided to leave and to avoid myself from being hurt I'm going to cheat first so I can have someone to move on to. He was my first love and first to sleep with and first to go on a date I always flirt but never want to date anyone until I met him he makes me laugh and I fell for him quickly. He decided to join the Navy and I support him just so he can go away from my life, I lied to him that I'm going clubbing with my sisters instead I went with my friends and met a cop guy at the club he was very sweet to me... buy all my friends free drinks and he told me he liked me so I ended up leaving with him that night to a motel room, we didn't have sex cause I feel bad but I let him do oral sex with me...next morning I went to our apartment he was sitting in the livingroom, he told me that he want's to get married before he join the Navy cause its not fair to me that he just join and leave me, I'm so in love with him that makes me cry and said yes to him without even think twice so I changed my number so the cop guy don't contact me anymore... he went bootcamp and Ait and when he came home he apologizes to me about the past, he said joining the military and being away from me made him appreciate me more and that he was sorry that he take me for granted he treats me bad cause he thinks that I would never leave him. we been married for 3 years now with two kids he don't seek support from his female friends anymore he only talks to me about it and his mom, I have not cheated on him ever since we got married and I'm very happy but the quilt I felt for what I did to him is eating me up, my friends told me don't worry about it cause he pushed me to cheat but I really wanted to confess, I'm a faithful wife and a great mother I don't want a broken family cause my parents were divorced when I grew up, is there anyone that deals with my situation before?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): I'll say this... you WILL tell him eventually. The guilt will do nothing but compound and compound until you can no longer handle it and it will come out in a moment of rage, or anger, or hurt over something silly.
Are you really going to let him go through life not knowing what you are capable of if a few drinks are into you?
You made your decision, however misguided, he has the right to make his.
Who knows, he may very well find it in his heart to forgive, or he may not... it's his decision now and not yours.
Tell him. Or else he will find out later on and the longer you lie, the more damage the fallout will be.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): No, don't tell him.
As the previous responder said - you have absolutely nothing to gain from it. You have everything to lose.
You can't change what you've done. All you can do now is feel guilty which is good because it's a sign of repentance. People who repent what they've done are forgivable. So forgive yourself and resolve never to be disloyal again.
You will ruin your relationship if you tell him. It would be a selfish thing to unload your conscience on him knowing that it will ONLY cause him pain.
Forgive yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): NO DO NOT TELL HIM. You keep this to yourself and deal with it. The type of man he is, he will never forget and will make your and your kids life living hell. You'll end up divorced or abused. This was in the past, you were on the verge of leaving him, you did what you had to do to protect yourself. By telling him, what do you expect to get back? Understanding, forgiveness and empathy? I can promise you this is not what you will get - you'll get yelling, anger, criticism and abuse. Go talk to a counselor to get this off your chest. DO NOT TELL HIM.
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