A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey.. i broke up with my girlfreind about 4 weeks ago, she had been sexually abused in the past and it has affected her trust in people. anyway i took the break up bad, i kept things in for two weeks and then confided everything (including the sexual abuse) to a freind, the freind i told in strictest confidence and she undersyands that she must not tell anyone, i trust her not to tell, she is a mature adult and she understands the seriousness, i was feeling very desparate at the time.. now i feel so awful for telling... i think now me and my ex may get back together, we are talking again.. if i tell her this she will never talk to me again, trust me she will feel so betrayed. i really care for her and i do want to tell her the truth, but then i know i will lose her for good..what do you think i should do?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 You need to live with it and pretend nothing happened.Stop worrying or she will find out what is the problem.
If she asked you , deny everything unless she has the proof.
It is impossible to pin point the source if the news breaks out .Hopefully it won't comes out.
Tell only on the last resort. Like she giving you an ultimatum to come clean.Hope it won't come to this stage.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): first off, that was probably an extremely diffifcult thing for your girlfriend to tell you and obviously it was in the strictest confidence. sadly, you have broken this trust, but i do understand how knowing something of that nature could be overwhelming. if your age is posted correctly, then i would not worry as much as if you were younger (not to stereotype) but the life of high school drama and controversy can overtake many youth and cause them to get caught up in the most secretive of scandals. if your friend whom youve confided in is a mature and respectable adult, and does not spill this very personal secret then i would not tell your girlfriend. i do agree though, that if there is the slightest chance it could get out then you need to come clean immediately. save this girl the hurt of finding it out from the grapevine that her significant other has been so insensitive about an issue of this nature and do hope she can forgive and trust you! but if she does find out and she decides to end your relationship for good for pure lack of respect and trust, then you will have to deal with the heavy conscience.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 She will feel betrayed, with good reason! But you know that don't you? If it were me, I would keep it to myself and hope she never finds out. If you trust the friend you confided in, then, you have nothing to worry about!
She has trust issues to begin with...don't add to them.
You made a mistake, you admit it and regret it! Go on from here, and try to make things work with your girlfriend!
Others may disagree with me completely, but that's what this site is all about....different viewpoints! And I have just given mine!
Read all the comments, and then it is up to you to decide...
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 February 2010):
If you can truly trust this other friend and you're sure she won't tell, then say nothing. If there is the slightest chance that it might come out, then come clean and say you did it because you were so upset and needed to get all your feelings out. And never tell another person.
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