A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok my "friend" has a girlfriend and i am madly in love with her. I told her my feelings and she didn't say she didn't like me or nothing will every happen but my friend has a little instinct that i like her as he has told her that and she told me. i don't want to ruin my friendship with him but im so jealous sometimes and i don't want to do anything stupid. should i tell him that i really like his girlfriend but don't want to act on my feelings?
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female
reader, Claraw1 +, writes (4 September 2011):
I think your on shaky ground here. If you tell your friend how you feel about his girlfriend, it will most likely ruin the friendship. You told her how you felt and she didn't tell you she didn't like you, but she didn't tell you that she did either did she? Maybe she figures the fact that she has a boyfriend is enough for you to know that she isn't interested, I would think it's enough for a guy to know. If you tell him and he finds out that you already told her how you feel about her, he may see it as you have already tried to act on your feelings (I would) and that your only telling him to cause trouble between them, because telling her about your feelings didn't get you anywhere. My advice is don't tell him, it could lose you a friend and they will still be together. I know it's hard to see someone you have feelings for with someone else, it hurts like hell; she is not free to be yours, and she had a chance to say that she wanted you and she didn't say it. Find someone who is free to be yours, someone who can love you in return. In the end it is your decision though, and I wish you the best of luck and hope you find happiness.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (4 September 2011):
If he already has an instinct, then there's no point in keeping it a secret. Just because you tell him how you feel about her doesn't mean you will ruin the friendship. What you have to do is not act on it and make sure you don't give your friend any more reasons to be worried. If he's a friend, he'll appreciate your honesty even though he might not like that his instincts were right. But try to keep a distance from her and respect the boundaries.
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