A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have two really close friends who have recently been introduced due to my upcoming wedding. My male friend is a bit of a player, and has decided he likes my female friend, and has been pursuing her. I found out at the weekend that he has also been meeting up with a girl I know who has a reputation for being easy and is intending on sleeping with her (this other girl made it clear he can when he wants to).My good female friend likes this guy and is interested... how can I tell her he is playing other girls without losing him or both of them?Help!Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): If you treat this as some enormous big deal then the others will be more inclined to treat it that way. Be honest, but light hearted about it.
Tell your guy friend straight out that your female friend is valuable to you and you won't see her hurt. Let him know that if he hasn't already told her he is openly dating others, that you will. Then do it.
Don't get into long explanations about why you should say something. If you act apologetic people will act as though you're doing something wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): I would tell your female friend the type of guy he is, before she gets too deeply involved with him and if your male friend isn't happy about you upsetting his fun, well it means he wasn't much of a friend to begin with putting you in such an awkward position and willing to hurt your other close friend.
Like he should really consider that to be too close to home, unless he does not care about your friendship with him and sees ALL women(including female friends)as potential fodder.
Tell this guy she is a good friend and you don't want to be put in this position, so either he be serious about her and change his ways or back off.
I was in your female friends position and I was glad of the advice I recieved, if she has any common sene she will too. But you definitely need to tell he is a womaniser, after that its up to her, but at least she can't come along and blame you for knowing what he was like and not putting her wise to him in the first place.
Good Luck.x
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 This is a difficult thing. I think there is no easy answer. You could say that she is an adult and has to look after herself, but you could also say that it is extremely wrong to know that someone will be taken advantage of and remain as if nothing happened.
Sometimes, however, people know they would be "taken advantage", only they want the thrill and the sex that comes with it.
I think I would tell the female friend something like "are you sure you want something with this guy?. He's a friend and all but he has a reputation for being a player. I can't tell you what to do, but you should keep your eyes open..." Something to that effect.
You could perhaps talk to your male friend, but he would brush you off with a loving remark. Something like "Of course I wouldn't hurt her...".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): I'd have a light-hearted chat with both of them (separately) to let the female friend know the male one has a bit of a reputation, and ask the male one what his intentions towards the female one are! You mention they're both really close friends of yours; I can't imagine either of them would take mortal offence if you were to bring up the subject. I think what matters is the *way* you talk about it, as people often react to the manner in which they're told something as much as - if not more than - what's actually being said. You could keep the whole conversation moderately playful and still get your respective messages across.
Seeing as they haven't long been introduced to each other, I doubt it'd be major heartbreak for either if nothing of consequence happened between them. There are many other guys out there looking for something more stable whom your female friend could date, and plenty of other girls looking for something more casual for your male friend! I wouldn't worry about it too much. After all, you have your wedding to concentrate on :) I hope it all works out well for everyone. Good luck and take care x
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A
female
reader, Brokenhearted19  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 Wow that is kinda a hard one...I would say don't say nothing but then you wouldnt want your friend to end up hurt and then she gets mad at you for not telling her..So if i was you i would warn her and be like "I know your interested but he is known to be a player". Then you tell him "I know you are interested in my friend but she is not the type to play games" IDK that is just what i would do..Let them both know what's up!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): Hey, iv been though sort if the same, but I was the one that was being played.
From my experience I think u should confront the male friend and explain that if he likes ur female friend too that he needs to stop playing her like he is, this should be done before u tell ur female friend.
I wouldn't say it nastily and just explain that ur just looking out for both I'd them.
Once this is done see what the male friend does and if he still carries in playin her, then u should tell her again being nice about it as we all we can't help who we like.
I hope thus have helped and good luck :-)
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