A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I had this friend in college who I met last semester who I became good friends with. Her true colors eventually came out and she turned out to be really insensitive and spineless and just a bitch so I started to avoid her, especially after she "forgot" my birthday. Anyways, I have made new friends since, one of which is this guy (don't worry he is gay) who her and I both had a class with last semester. He had always shown an interest in being friends with me but she right away tried to act all knowing and "intuitive" and said that he couldn't be trusted and to be careful cause she wouldn't doubt he talks bad about me behind my back. I personally NEVER got that impression from him but since she was one of my best friends I would just nod my head and didn't really care either way. Well once I completely started to avoid her for my own personal reasons, I guess fate would have it that me and him have become really good friends (and I like him WAY better than her). When she first found out about he and I hanging out she made a comment again about how I shouldn't trust him and this time I got mad and I lashed out at her and told her that its none of her business and that I liked him so to stay out of it. Its like she wanted to control who I am friends with. Anyways I haven't seen or talked to her since that time. So here's the problem. He takes a class with her this semester and told me that she is SO nice to him and acts like their buddies. He found it weird cause he says he's never really talked to the girl before. And in my mind I was like what?! I thought she said he couldn't be trusted and I should stay away from him so why is she being so nice to him?! Of course I didn't say anything about that but he knows that her and I had a falling out. Anyways, today he asked me if I thought that she was being nice to him cause she knew that he and I are friends and so she's trying maybe to win him over or something. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say YES. I was just like "I don't know, I'm sure she genuinely likes you." And the truth is that I am sure she does genuinely like him, he's a cool kid. I just think she has always been jealous of me and sees it a as a competition. But a part of me just wanted to tell him what a self serving hipocrate she is and let him know all the stuff she talked about him, especially since he was already hinting at the fact that he could sense something weird about all this. But I don't want to be so blunt and immature and hurt his feelings. But at the same time we are both adults here...I don't know. Should I tell him?? Or no??
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female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 if you tell him you have to be ready for him to take sides with one of you. if you are going to tell him you need to tell him at the right time when you are both calm adn make sure it stays that way because otherwise there may be an arguement for the sake of it.
i would say tell him, becuase he has a right to know what shes been like towards you and because u obviously care.
good luck x
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