A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so here is the situation:I am good friends with a guy from work, I would class him as one of my best friends (and the other way around) we spend quite a lot of time together, talk on the phone, text etc. He has stayed over at my house a few times (in a different room) and it wasn't weird. The thing is, over the last few months I've started to realise how much I really do like him (more than a friend). We have always had a bit of "banter" and flirting but it has been a joke and if it has ever gone a bit far after a few drinks we've just laughed it off in the morning. He is such a lovely guy, I really feel like he would do anything to help me if I need him and I know he truly cares about my feelings. The problem is, I've fallen for him and he has a girlfriend. He's been with her for 2 years. I dont want to cause any trouble but its driving me mad because I just want to tell him! I feel like normally I can talk to him about anything but now when he asks me whats on my mind I have to say nothing. I need some advice, should I say something or should I just hope this feeling goes away?
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female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 I agree with all the other aunts, its best to say nothing and put your energies into finding a different relationship. Ordinarily, guys will go after something if they are sure they want it. You are single and available, its HIS move to make, if anything is to start. If you make an effort to change the relationship, it will probably just reflect badly on you. I'm sure he knows you like him. So, that is all you can do. If you want to maintain the happy friendship, keep it as a happy friendship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for responding. I really appreciate it.
LonelyTwo - He doesnt talk about her that much, so I don't know really know if they have problems, I don't want to push the conversation. I know he likes to spend time with her (as you would hope!) but she is 28 and he is younger. He has made it clear to me that he has no intention of proposing yet, he says he's definitely not ready but is worried because she has mentioned children. I have tried to just be supportive and not get particuarlu involved, I dont want to bias the situation and I am not trying to move him away from her. If he makes that decision, I will have had no part in swaying him. It is just hard because if I say nothing I will wonder what might have happened. I have told a friend and they said that he probably doesnt realise I would like him in that way (it seems he never suspects this of girls unless they actually tell him)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 April 2010):
No, say nothing. He has a girlfriend, so if something happened you'd never be able to trust him anyway, and if something didn't, you'd have a reputation as a woman who tries to steal boyfriends. He's not available unless he's single, so say nothing. If he likes you, he'll come to you.
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