A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello..Just need opinions on a predicament I have. I am getting married to a wonderful man this year, he has 2 kids from a previous relationship who I love to bits. The problem is his ex, she is a nasty piece of work, my fiancé had to go to court to see the kids as she stopped him from seeing them and his entire family. My fiancé won and we see them all the time now. We have had social services involved with her etc and he deals with her. It's all fine at the moment. My problem is though, I haven't told my family what she is like as I thought it would only make them judge us and my hubby to be - they are very old fashioned and I don't want them asking loads of questions. The kids are now starting to resent her for what she has done to them. The youngest is 7 and has started to say things to my family about her mum. Should I tell my family what she is like? I am having them as bridesmaids and ushers at my wedding and she is trying to stop that which is breaking their hearts. Pls can I have some advice because I don't want a million questions. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): No, do not tell your family, friends, or anyone about his ex. His ex is his ex, it's his relationship with her, not your's. I would not get too involved. A lot if times, when relationships don't work out, it only means there's a conflict between the two people involved. Doesn't mean she is a bad person or he is a bad person.
Try to be the bigger person. If her kids talk bad about their mother, explain to them and ask them to respect their mother.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): I don't think you should tell them anything, unless the kids comments prompt a question from them. I think a neutral position would really be best here, as any issues that come up with the kids are really between your husband to be and his ex…
Even if this ex doesn't like the idea of the kids participating, I am not sure how she can really stop it? Apart from showing up at the wedding itself and causing a scene.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (24 January 2015):
They will find out eventually. Maybe you don't need to go into details, but it's better if they hear from you. They are your parent's. You know best how to handle them and how much to tell them, so that they are still comfortable but warned of the ex.
Though i do think, them finding out from you is gonna be tons better than them finding out cuz of any tantrum she throws.
Good luck
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