A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I tell my ex (who is now my friend) that I still have feelings for him?So my long distance ( a few hours drive) boyfriend of 7 months, broke up with me about 2 months ago. He really had no reason, except that “he’s not ready for a girlfriend right now”…he’s 31 years old by the way, come on!! I was hurt, but left his apartment drove back home and didn’t think anything else of it. He called me the next week, and said he cared about me, and let’s be not just friends, but “good friends”. I reluctantly agreed, maybe because I missed him so. I know men get to a point where they just need space. I know that this man, who has a job in the public, and is very well know, loves the attention and loves to flat out F**K A LOT of girls!! Most of whom are 18-24 when he’s 31. Anyway, back to my point. After I agreed to be just friends, he and I hung out. We went out had a great time, he even gave me a tiny kiss on the lips!! It was purely platonic, but yet felt like so much more. I left him alone for a few weeks, and then I decided to surprise him by sending him some of my favorite pictures of us together, with a note saying “so glad after everything you’re there for me, we had a lot of fun”. Well he called me, I didn’t answer. He left a voice mail saying “he was pleasantly surprised by the package, and let’s talk soon, let’s catch up it’s been awhile…you know let’s just talk.” I have texted him to call me when he can, but it’s been a couple days and he not yet. I plan to go to his town this next weekend to visit friends, and was planning on seeing him. I just wondered 1.) How do you tell an ex you still have some feelings for them, and 2.) Should I tell him how I really feel? We have both moved on. I’m dating around, and I know he is too. But, in the back of my mind I still want to be more than just friends. I just don’t know how to approach the subject with him. If he rejects me, no problem. I’m already moving on…but I feel that we had this amazing chemistry and connection.Thanks
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 If you feel you had this amazing chemistry and connection, but you are not together any more.... well, that must mean that it was lopsided and he does not feel the same , don't you think ?
If you are sure that you'd be as cool as a cucumber in front of a possible rejection, then go ahead, what have you got to loose.
Still, I don't see the point. He has moved on , you are moving on. You are dating around, he's screwing around.
"I am not ready for a relationship " 99 out of 100 is a cliche' that means I am not ready for a relationship with YOU.
If you are really serious about moving on, you'd better
leave it as it is and focus on the future,not the past.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 If am honest with you it does sound to me like he wants you as a friend and nothing more. But I guess it is worth a try to be honest with him and tell him exactly how you feel. Next time you see him just tell him you want to talk to him about something. Tell him you don't want to put any pressure on him but that you still have feelings for him and then leave it up to him. Tell him you accept that it might not change anything but that you wanted to be honest with him. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (26 June 2011):
to be honest if a man of 31 yrs old is not ready for a relationship he is never going to be he is only interested in sleeping around i would forget him and move on you can do so much more and you have also got to think of your sexual health if he has sex with that many women how do you know he hasnt got any sti,s
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