A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I was wondering recently my ex's birthday had just passed and I was thinking about sending her a quick happy birthday email. However my birthday happened sooner then hers, it was in January, and I didn't get a happy birthday or anything from her. Should I just follow her example or actually do something nice by wishing a her a happy birthday?. The breakup wasn't really good, for me especially. Basically we maintained contact for a few months after the breakup and then we stopped talking this was around December. She was the one who broke up with me and 2 weeks later was already in a serious relationship with somebody else. I was pretty pissed about the whole thing and have yet to fully heal from that experience.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for the replies, it just sucks because it's been almost a year and I still haven't healed as much as I wanted to, but I guess it makes sense sometimes especially if you cared about that person a lot.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 OK ... you still have feelings for her, and you want to wish her a happy birthday because of that. You want her to receive something nice from you, and to feel warm towards you because of it. Unfortunately, she is in a different zone all together now. She broke up with you because she wanted to be with someone else. She has pretty much erased you from her life.
Write her a card or a letter.
Then don't send it.
Put it in a drawer.
Go out and find someone else.
I am so sorry, but really, that is the best way to deal with it. Don't contact her. It feels like it might be comforting for you, but actually I think it will only be demeaning. You have to cut with her. She has with you.
Sorry, but that is how it is sometimes. You will get over her, that is as certain as anything. So just tell yourself this is just a phase. Really, life will move on and you will feel much better this time next year. Then you can read your card to her and feel sorry for yourself, but glad you've moved on! She doesn't actually deserve your birthday wishes ... think of it like that ...
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 I think you should let it be. You need to let go, so that you can move on with your life. You will heal in time, just takes a while sometimes. Tell yourself that its over, and try to forget things like birthdays, anniversaries etc. You'll get there. All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): Don't send her any birthday greetings. She broke up with you and has moved on with her life. It would be interpreted by her, as well as her boyfriend, as a means of inching your way back into her life.
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